Have to share this greatttttttttt email I received today, makes me sleep well at night. Unreal people out there like this. But I want to share, some of the after effects of firing someone. The guy lost me customers, was lazy, and did his own work during company hours.

Anyway, received the below email (exact copy / paste) from a yahoo email address.

hello sir

THIS IS AN EMAIL TO ASK YOU FOR A FEW DETAILS FOR MY COMPANY AS I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO OBTAIN THEM DUE TO YOUR RECENT DISERGREMENT WITH (_____xxxxx I deleted this name) OVER PAY, I WOULD ADVISE YOU THAT WE WILL BE SEEKING TO TAKE YOU TO COURT OVER THIS MATTER AND NOT JUST THROUGHT LOSS OF MONEY BUT ALSO COMPENSATION AND ALL LEGEL FEE’S FOR THIS MATTER, CAN YOU PLEASE SEND ME YOU CONTACT DETAILS AND IF YOU HAVE A LAWYER THERE DETAILS ALSO SO WE CAN DEAL DIRECT WITH THEM IF YOU LIKE.
I MUST ADVISE THIS IS SEPERAT FROM THE ACTION THAT WILL BE TAKEN BY THE CHINA EMPLOYMENT OFFICE THAT WAS INFORMED ON THURSDAY LAST WEEK AND ALSO THE TAX OFFICE THAT WILL BE INVESTIGATING YOU FOR TAX, I WISH YOU COULD HAVE DELT WITH THIS MATTER IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT AS YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT MARK IS A PUSH OVER THEN I WILL BE HANDLEING THIS MATTER MYSELF,
I WILL ALSO LIKE TO ADD ON A PERSONAL NOT I KNOW YOUR DETAILS AND WERE YOUR NEW OFFICE IS ALREADY AND ITS ONLY MARK THAT IS KEEPING ME AWAY FROM COMING TO SEE YOU PERSONALY IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN AND AS FOR YOUR CHINES GIRL THE ONE THAT SORTED OUT THE PAPERS I HOPE SHE ISN’T AFRAID OF THE DARK AND HOPE YOU ARE NOT TOO AS THINGS CAN HAPPEN ON A DARK NIGHT GOING HOME, I HOPE YOU COME TO YOUR SENCES BEFOR ITS TO LATE AS I AM JUST WAITING FOR PEMISION FROM THE LOCALS TO ACT AS MOVING AGAINST YOU WILL BE OK BUT TO MOVE AGAINST ONE OF THE LOCALS IS NOT ALOUD WITHOUT PERMISION FROM THE TRIAD.
HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY
AND THANKS

Imagine this guy? Anyway, should I carry a knife with me when I walk outside? He even threatens my admin - a 24 year old girl! Jeeeeez, you can threaten me, but a young Chinese girl? amazing. Doing some research, I quickly found out who the person was, even though they seemed to try to hide it.

Imagine all the threats I’ve received my whole life. One boyfriend who got upset with me because his girlfriend liked me (he jumped me with 3 of his friends in a park), others about buyouts of products and business. Others about gossip in high school. The list does go on. Maybe I’m a bad guy? Sometimes I just have my breaking point. Nice up to a point, and if someone keeps pushing me, I switch from nice to cold.

I guess its part of running a small business. And being a solo foreigner far away from friends and family doesnt help either….

Again, I am reminded how little I know about the Chinese culture. I try to be observant, ask around what other companies are doing. But really, I barely scraped the surface in trying to understand the culture, the thought process of how it works…

Of course, like everyone in the world - money is important. But in China, money is even more important……

So today is the last day the office is open, and (I believe, anyway) everyone is anxiously awaiting their “red envelopes”, to see how much bonus they will be paid. Of course its not a requirement of any company to pay, but like in USA, its like year end bonus the company pays out to the staff.

I never wanted to be the one responsible for deciding this. I’m just a stupid white guy, how can I affect the culture. How much is normal. how much is spent for family gifts, what is the cost?

Really, I thought (maybe I was crazy), but by this time I would have a “china expert” manager who would advise me how much to pay, what days vacations are, and other staff / HR type things. Seems I have been ineffective in finding this…..

My other weakness, is I want to keep everyone happy. Except myself. My admin, Jojo, keeps reminding me that I need to take care of myself first, and then others. But really, I always thought the opposite….take care of others first and they will take care of you later , when you are in need. I think in China that is looked at as weakness. I need to be more direct, more definitive.

And I don’t want to underpay, for 2 reasons - (1) I want to reward people for working hard, and (2) I don’t want the company to look weak financially.

And its like a 2nd Christmas to me. I am not a fan of holidays….too much distraction and downtime.

I recently ended a contract with a residential apartment, the owner is 27 years old, and he works in a department store. The people tell me he is a “duck boy” married or dating a rich chinese woman. her name is on the ownership documents, but he has a subcontract for it. I have a contract with him. Now i asked him to end the contract, or to keep it until the end of the contract - may. He agrees to try to rent it out and then pay me back if someone else signs. People are viewing it over the past week. thursday night he calls my assistant, jojo, and tells her that we have to move out by saturday and he wants to end the contract - its understood from previous discussions that he will pay back the 2 months deposit. I stay up till 330 am pushing roommates out, moving places here and there - to settle things to cancel the contract the next day.
Next morning we go to cancel the contract….after a long night and early morning move. As we bargain at the table, the owner tells us that he does not agree to refund the deposit. I crack, i explode. I say then you get out of my apartment, i will not pay another penny to you, and i will move out in mid-may. And oh yea….at that time your tv, your stove, you windows, they may be broken….sorry about that, but hey, you dont want to refund my deposit, so i dont care anymore. Then he offers 50% of the deposit (1 month rent) - saying he wants me out now for sure. I call my lawyer. Lawyer says i am lucky he offers the 50%, take it, and get out……but i push further. Threatening to fire my admin (a bluff to try to soften him) then ask for a compensation for our time. And a partial refund on the unused month. Get it up to about 70%…and feel thats the best we can do without calling thugs….
What a freaking waste of 3 hours…….poor girl crying from stress and conflict. We are sure the landlord 2 faced us….just the day before he was visiting us, all smiles and handshakes…just to push us out and try to stiff us out of the 2 months deposit.
We are sure he was pushing us out because he had a new tenant…but what can we do? I guess we should have had a side agreement about this cancellation signed, chopped, and fingerprinted before we moved out. Now that we had moved out, whats the option? Move back in… The owners scheme worked….but we at least got money at all back.
So, this is how ignorant people get rich in china. They buy real estate and cheat people out of deposits
….. Or maybe they are smart and i am stupid

I am cleaning up my desktop and computer, going through tons of folders and files…rather annoying but its good to go through it on a weekend - travel back in time and remember all the hopes and dreams of the past. Some are real, others never became - or realized something else.

I found a really great file, things I want to do before I leave this Earth. I wrote this in April 2002!!!! Good thing I keep backing up my data, here is a copy/paste:

What I want to do before I die.

have a respectable job, one that i love to do — done
have a happy family life
have a party house, where i can have reunions of all the wonderful people i meet
meet as many new people as possible
start a college fund

activities

bungee jump
sky dive —done

travel

tour europe — done
austrailia
caribean — done
las vegas — done
visit hollywood –done
go to brazil
camping, beach
boating
Appalachian trail
cancun —done
bahamas
italy — done
montreal —done
iowa —-done

I would say, I am the same person I was then as I am now….. still a few things on that list I have to get done…. mainly my goal in life is to EXPERIENCE IT. And that hasn’t changed.

I really beleive I am not driven by money. Some say that is stupid…and yes, it seems to have gotten me into SHORT TERM problems in the past……even tonight my friend Jojo said “if you keep being so nice, you’ll even have no money to wear the shirt you have on”. So strange, but you know what, if that is how it will be, then I will have lived my life anyway.

WHO CARES ABOUT MONEY. you live, you die. Nothing can be taken with you when you’re gone. And your family and children should live for their own lives, not hope you pass money along to them.

Hey, this is my personal blog, and it seems people here like reading about the real life story of my experiences….so here goes…hope it doesnt seem too much like complaining…

Obviously being a small business owner, boot strapped and always under cash flow pressure - I am faced with daily pressure to deliver. Guess overall I like the pressure, even though I maybe lose my temper and show my emotions. It gets my blood “boiling”, and is much more exciting then sitting behind a corporate desk collecting salary.

But seems too many changes, too much short term pressure….writing it down helps me out:

1) Many customers pushing - with Chinese New Years approaching, everyone wants to get their projects fixed . Need to get things under control, keep people happy, and not go insane in the meantime….
2) Newyorkbarstore transition - still so many issues there….dissolution of NJ company, asset and liability transfers, bank loan refinancing, training people for customer service, IT rebuilds, banking / merchant accounts re-applying. Supply chain re-organization….
3) UK newyorkbarstore collapse - seems the bank, credit card, and paypal are frozen - claims from warehouse, ebay negatives piling up. Just overextended too rapidly into UK / Europe market, and with the financial crisis, buyers slowed and bills didnt….
4) China address change, phone number transfer - moving out of Hai Wang, Tiley will be the corporate address. Have to move apartments, shifting things, things breaking in the move…phone can’t be transferred, people calling saying the number doesn’t work, etc etc…aiya.
5) Closing 98products (China bar products), Huizhou warehouse ending - seems its not as bad as UK, but I learned I sell best in the US market….so I’m closing the warehouse in Huizhou factory and shipping all the goods to California, USA warehouse for US market sales
6) Warehouse changes - More supply chain issues as per the above….but customs clearance, new contracts, splitting shipments, trucking, logistics,
7) Employee disputes - as part of the reorganization, I’m moving to have more freelancer and part time workers. Have some in USA, some in China, Singapore, Philippines, Europe. So sadly, while there are new faces, some old faces have to leave. some handle it differently then others, some are threatening to sue me, take me to the labor bureau, report me for tax evasion, blah blah. Lets see…..
Business partner / Alliances changing - similar to #7 above, I am cooperating with new people, and discontinuing with others….of course, I am still emotional, mix business and personal friends, and it just hurts me. I am learning better to separate business and friends - but its a learning curve and a process

But just  writing it down has helped me feel a bit better…….

As the lunar calendar draws to a close, so many more unfortunate Chinese people are desparate to return to their hometowns. They did not earn enough money the previous year, or save enough, to make it home to see their family and loved ones…..

So, some push too hard, they do whatever it takes to make that bit of cash to pay for the train to their hometown. The police and management offices of buildings warn people to take extra care of locking their doors and securing their valuables. I hear stories of people who get their homes robbed these weeks before the new years, desperate thieves trying to make that money to get where they need to go…..

I wish I could pay for everyone to go to see their family and loved ones. I feel I am too kind, too soft.

But, unfortunately for them (and for me) I am not rich. I cannot take care of everyone around me. I first have to earn a strong enough business and cashflow, that I can then budget this “extra” cash to throw around and save others around me.

Its rather sad, do people have to change to survive, to thrive? Can I remain the kind, gentle, take care of everyone person I try to be, or throw it out the window to make it to the next level.

Changes….changes…..how to move forward. New Years do this, milestones in business, in life.

If it how a boss has to be? Separate friends and business. change your “hat” As well as in different cultures. But that means to me, that you’re changing who you are in different places. Do I have to have some sort of split personality? Put on an act. Tell someone, hey, this is business.

Anyway, I wish everyone here in China can go to see their family during this special holiday. I wish I could be someone to help them get there. Maybe not this year, but one year….

I feel that Google has lost its attempt to “change the Chinese government” and is still trying to remain in China. Wow, they really scared me a couple weeks ago - but even if they pull out of China, now they say only pull out selectively - keeping some research and development here , as well as advertising sales.

Reading Search Engine Land - it reports after Google’s earnings report on Wall street, that Eric Schmidt is “backtracking” with their prior stance on Google not putting up with the Chinese government’s censoring rules.

Another part, maybe also behind this, is the google inventors, Sergey Brin and Larry Page To Sell Of $2.79 Billion in Shares. They still own a heck of a lot of shares, but now they need Eric’s vote to get over 50% of the voting power of the company.

Anyway, all this news makes the world realize, you can’t just forget how important the growing Chinese internet is. There are just too many eyeballs at stake……literally.

Sales and Research (R&D) in China….interesting thought…..

I was emailed an interesting article from a fellow blogger - Top Things People Steal From Hotels
The list he outlines below is hilarious:

1. Towels. Do you really need more towels at home or do you just want to have something that says the name of the place you stayed. Most times these items are available for sale in the gift shop.
2. Bathrobes. Who has enough room in their suitcase to steal a bathrobe? I say bring a smaller bag and you won’t be able to steal.
3. Ashtrays. Really? Ashtrays are not that expensive, just go buy one. Better yet, quit smoking. It’s bad for your health.
4. Light bulbs. Now this is just silly. Do you really want broken glass in your suitcase if someone smashes it?
5. Batteries out of the TV remote. Batteries are very expensive so I guess I could see this, but how would you like to be the next guy and not have a remote that works?
6. Bed linens. Gross. Do you have any idea what people do on those sheets? I’m pretty sure housekeeping will notice and you’ll get billed.
7. Shampoo and lotion bottles. While some hotels may consider taking these as stealing I have to say that these are put there for the guest’s use and if you don’t use them there, why can’t you take them home?
8. Blow dryers. Do you really want that blow dryer? In my experience they are never that good anyway. Go buy your own.
9. Sewing kits. These are meant to be used in an emergency and really aren’t meant to take home.
10. Bottle openers. Now I don’t see these very often, probably because someone before me stole it!

Now, I dont think most people even think its stealing, maybe its included in the room? Its not that expensive. The hotel makes enough money……hmmm, just wondering.

See me, I just expect / hope its there when I get there, because I didn’t pack it. I don’t care as long as its there. As I travel light, and I need those damn towels!

Is it good to be passionate and emotional in the workplace? Many may say passion is ok, but emotion may be an issue. But how to separate them?

Looking at one’s own personal pro and con - I am sure my passion and emotion gets the best of me. I have to be more level headed. I have to separate friends and business.

Watching a bunch of DVDs last night, one was called “taken” - its a great movie, I would definitely recommend watching it.

The basis of the movie is a retired secret agent is extra-paranoid about his daughter going on a trip to Europe. Everyone thinks he’s over-reacting, but actually she gets kidnapped SAME DAY she arrives in France.

anyway, so he goes to France and talks to some of his old colleagues there. They help him, to a point, but actually they are in on the crime (indirectly)….. so he has to make things personal, attacking their wives and using that to get information.

Then when he finds the area his daughter is held captive, he asks for her back. The “bad guys” say its not possible, until he shoots up the place. the mob-boss begs for his life to the father, saying - you have to understand, “it was not personal, it was business”….

The father doesn’t think so, and executes him coldly on the elevator floor.

If that a mix of personal and business?

Sure, its a movie. And extreme…..But there are other cases, weekends seeing staff, do you talk about work? Do you forget work and just be friends? Seeing your friends you are buying from, or selling to, at a party - how not to talk about business?

Especially with the explosion of social media in today’s internet environment. We see the facebook profiles of our friends. they are talking business. at the same time they are talking a bout getting drunk at a house party.

Then, when you have a dispute in business- do you delete them from your “social friends” profile? So strange.

I just keep going on, but would like some ideas here. Also, today is the first day I integrated my blog into my facebook account - hope to get some more activity / readers.

Reading some linkedin.com discussions, and one that caught my eye was “how did you get into your industry where you are today?” I answered it in the thread, but also want to expand on it more here.

Since I can remember, I always wanted to have my own company, back in 2003 after graduating university and starting a new full time analyst job at Deutsche Bank, I met Greg Schwartz, also a fresh grad in the new hire training program who turned his university senior design project (mobile phone java app) into a business - Mobatech LLC. It was rather funny, as I randomly sat down next to him during 1st day orientation, we became great friends, business allies, and i was in his wedding party! During our training in London, England - I came on board in Mobatech as a marketing & sales consultant (it was his idea for me to do sales…I didnt think I could do it!!!). I remember finding ways to increase downloads (not really purchases, but shows “top downloads” on some of the reseller networks) - it came to be one of the top selling productivity mobile applications. Soon those channels started changing it from top downloads to top sellers….hehe. But ya, I love finding ways to get ahead. Later he showed me his website server logs and asking me to understand it and grow visitors…..it amazed me seeing people from all over the world coming to his website. Sure, I had made websites before, but never analyzed traffic and sources before…it truly amazed me from that day forward.

Researching more into ways to increase website traffic, in 2004 I attended a “free” online marketing class in a fancy NYC hotel. I brought my roommate, Andrew Moran, and we got pushed/sold into a “package” with all the tools to start your own online internet business.

We had no idea what we were going to sell!!!!! Andrew would do the writing, logistics, and operations, I would do the financial, technology, and marketing - both of course pushing sales and sharing customer support. A 50/50 split and a handshake, on a street corner in midtown Manhattan. A new company was born - Parallel Phenomena (started as a general partnership in New York, later re-organized to a corporation in the state of new jersey - Parallel Phenomena, Inc) The name Parallel Phenomena represented Andrew and I (2 people in parallel) and phenomena meaning following our “gut” and feelings.

Sold on ebay, tried multiple online stores (first was pimp guide - your bachelor pad store mixed with nightclub VIP list) - and found success selling bar products…..so much that it didn’t make sense to have a general “everything i think is cool” online shop and ebay store - so being in NYC and taking into consideration the party nightscene and the current “pimp guide” bachelor feel - it seemed newyorkbarstore.com was a fitting name / brand, and the online shop was born in early 2005.

Taking it from there, working every night until we could keep our eyes open, and drinking beers on fridays watching TV (COPS TV show is still my favorite) and some Lower East Side bar hopping, Andrew and I kept on pushing to build up the online business. First we shipped products to our NYC apartment…knowing there wasn’t anyone to sign for it, I got the shoe shine guy downstairs (really cool guy, think Juan) to hold the goods for us till I got back from work. But that got out of hand quickly….so I got my younger university friend, George Couto, to help receive and ship products at the fraternity house while I had the dayjob. That got out of hand, so we found a UPS store….that was expensive and a nightmare - so George’s parent’s basement. Then I found a print broker (he printed the Pimp Guide book for us), Alan Kaufman, who had a storage unit for his business - so we rented a unit next to his, and he would receive and ship for us. Then that got out of hand…so we moved to Webgistix, a 3rd party fulfillment center - uHauled it ourselves on a weekend roadtrip.

That kept going on, a rollercoaster ride. I was the first, quitting the day job at Deutsche Bank in early 2007, with steadily growing online sales, toned internet experience, and a budding business network - it lead me to buying directly from China / Asia distributing into western markets. Started a UK company…but too many logistical problems…..maybe get back there one day

Frustrations trying to buy from China lead me to start Shadstone sourcing (Shadstone Associates, Inc) in mid 2007, spent some time living in San Diego, California w/ my good friend Piotr, I transitioned from the mind of a “9-5″ worker to the full time entrepreneur……..working on the beach, coffee shops, and couches via my laptop……it was cool…..but i wanted something more….it was kind of boring, I got a little lonely, and i wanted to expand.

in addition, I was still frustrated buying from overseas remotely, even though i was now a full-time entrepreneur so i had more time then when i was with a fulltime deutsche bank job, still so many miscommunications trying to buy from China while located in USA…..I felt could do it better if I was on the ground in China…..so I moved to Southern China (city Shenzhen) to have a better understanding and control of product development and supply chain - so I opened Hong Kong & China companies. Plus, China is where the future is, this is the emerging market - this is where the money is to be made, right??? Plus, I had my boys back in USA covering things there (Andrew, Alan, and other business allies), I would build up the sources and supply chain here in China / Asia. Get some ocean containers shipping out, automate order flow and marketing processes. Scale up. Life would be good, right?

Well….. I am not patient enough……and I learned I am not going to succeed in being that “white guy” who changes how business is done in China. I think thats the mistake us stupid foreigners make when we come to China. We think we can change the culture, change the history, change the world. What I have learned is, you have to learn how to go with the way things are, and adapt properly.

So, doing import/ export isn’t my thing. No patience, too crude, too much detail in specifications.

So, internet. But then there’s not just making websites for people (i’ve done that back since 1999). Can’t take that, because most people don’t know what they want (similar to buying products from factories overseas), the client constantly changes their mind. And the money isn’t big enough.

So, selling online, that is my thing, maybe that will work. ecommerce. I dont have to deal with people. I can scale it. I can automate it. Its a growing industry. I have sources and contacts now on various sides of the world - China, USA, UK, etc…..

But how to move forward from here. A lot of pieces in play…..

Just gonna keep on going with what worked and ride the wave. Never give up, keep your chin up, and don’t be negative.