But this year seemed to be the right time for me to go, being an NY / CT hometown guy, two teams NY Giants vs New England Patriots is a perfect match (Go Giants!) and a few of my friends in Shenzhen also waking up, I decided to go (Dave woke me up!) taking a taxi from the apartment bright and early at 7am. The bar was packed! I was also tempted to check out Snake Pit (a local hangout for foreigners also have the superbowl on).

Its a lot of fun to watch sports games in a sports bar, and not many really over here in Shenzhen, China. Also, some of my USA friends I was talking to asked how the heck did we get the superbowl game in China? They have it on Philippines and Thailand TV stations, and the expat bars are able to get it on. The problem though is the TV COMMERCIALS!! They don’t have the American version ads, we get some Thai airlines commercials and other Southeast Asian ads going between football breaks.

We also have some friends who have a slingbox account, so we can even go to the laptop to see the American tv commercials! Just a bit of a lag….slow internet…..but its almost like home.

Here is the info I got off of Shenzhen party Superbowl email blast:

Super Bowl Party…

• Full Buffet Breakfast at 7:00 AM…
• Ham Bacon Eggs Toast Home Fried Potatoes & More
• with Bloody Marys & Mimosas.
• Win up to 5,000 rmb in our 100 Squares Pool.
• Entry fee of 100 Rmb includes Breakfast and 1 Free Drink.
• Great TV Views from everywhere in the Bar.
• Reservations Suggested there are useually 130 or more people attending this event.

about X-TA-SEA Sports Bar and Restaurant

Sports bar with an Excellent Full Menu of Steaks, Chicken, Pork, Sea Food, Sandwiches, Great Burgers, and Much More. Live Rock & Roll Music with “KAKTOOZ” Tuesdays through Saturdays. 5 Six foot wide TV screens, Two regulation pool tables, One Football Table, An English Dart board, Comfortable seating for 140, clean Modern Bathrooms. Pool and Dart tournaments, Monthly Hackers & Wackers Golf tournaments. A computerized music library with over 30,000 songs, and wireless Internet. Open Daily from Noon till the customers go home.

So there was tons of food (breakfast is my favorite meal!) eggs, bacon, don’t get that much here in China. I drank wayyyy too much, I was going to try to just drink coffee and beer…but shots came around. Was so dark in the bar, hard to even tell it was Monday morning….if you looked outside there were Chinese workers going to their offices. No idea what the superbowl was and why there were some crazy foreigners in the bar on a Monday morning (those crazy foreigners….haha)

After all that drinking, eating, and football watching, I did get right to work! Have tons of e-commerce projects in the works, and starting a new project that is going to be pretty hands on, Woxter (will blog soon about it). I so badly wanted to get some rest. Waking up early, drinking heavily on a Monday morning…and then digging out of emails and project plans in the afternoon…

And today was also Chinese Lantern Festival….

What is Chinese Lantern Festival you ask? I am not fully clear either – going to Wikipedia we have:

The Lantern Festival (also known as the Yuanxiao Festival or Shangyuan Festival in China); is a festival celebrated on the fifteenth day of the first month in the luni solar year in the Chinese calendar, the last day of the lunisolar Chinese New Year celebration.

It is not to be confused with the Mid-Autumn Festival. During the Lantern Festival, children go out at night to temples carrying paper lanterns and solve riddles on the lanterns. It officially ends the Chinese New Year celebrations.

In ancient times, the lanterns were fairly simple, for only the emperor and noblemen had large ornate ones; in modern times, lanterns have been embellished with many complex designs. For example, lanterns are now often made in shapes of animals.

So I chowed down on some “rice balls” which everyone has to eat on Chinese Lantern Festival (don’t ask my why, no one else seems to know either). posted to weibo, got some laughs.

Am completely drained….mentally, physically, and culturally. Just thought today was a good day to give some insides on some of the experiences a foreigner in China is faced with. So many cultures, so many holidays to balance, feelings, ideas, thoughts.

Keeps life interesting for sure!

Incoming search terms:

• Lantern Festival

In English, it roughly means – Empty talks would lead the country astray, and hard work can rejuvenate the nation, stop impractical arguments. When I read it the first time (from the billboard) I interpreted it as meaning “don’t say you’re going to do something and not do it, else it hurts all of us”. And then I take the meaning even further to think maybe its a marketing message for Chinese businesses (especially manufacturers doing export) not to cheat their customers, do what they say they will do, and fulfill their promises, else future business will be lost for the whole country.

Maybe I am not exactly right, and the other day I posted it on my weibo.com/michelini. I enjoy using Sina Weibo to post some “thought provoking” photos I come across in China and getting my Weibo friend’s perspectives. I even sometimes use it for “real time crowdsourcing” translation when I’m traveling alone in China and can’t figure out an advertisement or sign. So many users on it, and all wired on their mobile phones looking for new topics and weibo messages to interact with. Really believe Chinese people are a talkative and curious group of people.

阳光兴晨：dude,damn right!this *$^$*^#$^ propaganda has the purpose Of cheating not only Chinese people but also foreigners. (12月9日 16:13)

michelini：回复 @鄭君才:Wow…really cool I will make a blog then. Await your news tonight (12月9日 13:57)
删除| 回复

鄭君才：回复@michelini:More info will be given after work tonight, it originates from 300 years ago and it is Deng Xiao ping who said it when he visited south China in 1992. (12月9日 13:46)

michelini：回复 @鄭君才:Interesting….thanks! Any more info on it? Maybe I can blog about it (12月9日 13:31)
删除| 回复

鄭君才：Empty talks would lead the country astray, and hard work can rejuvenate the nation. This quotation originates from 300 years ago. (12月9日 13:27)
删除| 回复

michelini：回复 @小宛babe:I think it means empty talk hurts all of us (12月9日 13:15)
删除| 回复

老毛的茶味波：This sign mean action is better than talk. (12月9日 13:11)
删除| 回复

小宛babe：nooooooooo (12月9日 13:07)

And this latest one I got an awesome follow through from 鄭君才 (Jayci Zheng), even got an email later in the day with the history of this saying:

To michelini,

The brief intro of the quotation has been included in the attached file, please check.

Yours faithfully,
Jayci Zheng

The Chinese words in the picture is 空谈误国, 实干兴邦. (Chinese Pinyin: Kong Tan Wu Guo,
Shi Gan Xing Bang). It’ originates from an ancient idiom 清谈误国 (Chinese Pinyin: Qing Tan
Wu Guo, English: Empty talks would lead the country astray). In Chinese, 空(kong) and 清(qing)
share the same meaning of empty, and of course they both have other meaning respectively.

In Wei and Jin Dynasty 300 years ago, writers, celebrities and other people in upper class are
gathering to talk about the philosophical issues such as live and death, nature and etc on Zhou
Yi, Zhuang Zi and Lao Zi , but these talks or discussions are irrelevant to people’s livelihood
in society, resulting the urgent and practical problems unresolved and the whole country
undeveloped. This is how 清谈误国 (Chinese Pinyin: Qing Tan Wu Guo. English: Empty talks
would lead the country astray) comes from.

In 1980s, Shenzhen is planned to be the experimental field of Chinese Reform and Opening up.
On 18th Jan, 1992, Deng Xiao Pin, the general designer of Chinese Reform and Opening up, paid a
visit to Han Kou in Hu Bei Province during his South China tour . “空谈误国，实干兴邦，不要
再进行所谓的争论了”, he said in a meeting, which means “Empty talks would lead the country
astray, and hard work can rejuvenate the nation, stop impractical arguments”.

So now it makes even more sense to me that this sign is in Shekou district of Shenzhen City! That is where Deng Xiao Ping came to open up China, as well as turn Shenzhen from a fisherman’s town into a massive trading and financial capital of China!

Learn, share, expose. I hope this blog post helped out…the sign is for not only foreigners, but Chinese to Chinese who get cheated by one another.

Incoming search terms:

• stephen chung rocket internet groupon
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After about an hour bus ride, I arrived to meet the geekcook crew, we drove to their office and warehouse to finalize which geekcook products to first enter usa market and ship to the LA, USA warehouse. It was good to meet his staff, it was also interesting to note that his mom and dad were also contributing to the business, as well as friends and coworkers and business partner’s wife and children on the scene. Its like a big family, not just a company. He knows from my blog that I have a mom, dad, and sister in my immediate family so he let me choose some gifts for each of them to take back on my USA trip. I told him I’ll take a group photo of them each wearing the t-shirts..

yes, we are digital geeks…haha.

We then went walked to a street bbq that Friday night, David is pushing me to learn Chinese more! and that once I am better at Chinese he can offer me a lot more opportunity…and there will be big long term benefits to me for dedicating and investing time in Chinese.

We both agree and understand the political and cultural differences between USA and China….and we both agree that the future of the world will continue to be based on these 2 superpowers bridging their relationship and business networks….. always fun discussions.

Headed back around 1am to sleep at the company dormitory and wakeup bright and early saturday morning, 8 am! There office and dormitory is on a government industrial park focusing on design and brands. David tells me a couple years ago it was a factory for Altec Lansing speakers. Now the current rich Chinese government is giving very low rent to companies like David (geekcook) to build up their own brand and marketing and distribution.

Saturday the fun began right away. I saw that we would be going to a water park on the outskirts of Guangzhou city, called Da Feng Men which would be a mix of hiking to the river dock and then rafting down the river.

I got to spend time with some of the children, which were very jolly and curious – healthy kids. One of them, Leo, first talked about the sept 11 tragedy when he heard I was from USA. Made me wonder how much its talked about in Chinese school.

I wasn’t advised/allowed to take my laptop with me….never got a clear answer but it would have been difficult to carry and store anyway….but I’m so addicted….it was a necessary break. And my huawei android tablet is giving me so many problems, so gmail sync issue and I couldn’t check emails. But maybe this was a needed problem, to help me get away.

I’m blogging a bunch of photos from the hike….didn’t get to take pics in the river….too wet! It was a pretty refreshing and exhausting day…but being a Saturday the line was soo long, maybe 1 hour wait, standing only.

We spent the night, about 8 of us, in a small village outside of Guangzhou called Zheng Guo, and being a foursquare addict, I couldn’t find any locations at all in the whole village….David helped me add one at the street bbq. The amazing thing about China, even after living here 4 years and being open to trying any food, there is still aways some crazy new food dish that I haven’t heard of or eaten. This time it was duck mouth…..like strips of the beak chopped up. Rather tough, but did have a ok taste. David also mentioned he was 22 years old and had caught a live snake in the woods and cooked it that night and ate it….crazy.

We rented rooms at a farmer’s inn….not a hotel, but really a home owned by a farmer and he has the 2nd and 3rd floor of his home setup as a hostel / budget inn. One bathroom on the floor, 3 rooms, and a common family room. Very relaxed….the whole village was maybe 3 blocks wide, right along side a freshwater lake. Some took a night swim, but I just relaxed and breathed the fresh air….hadn’t had fresh air like that in a while living in this big metropolis….

Today (Sunday) we woke up early (again) and used our own inflatable rafts and went up and down the river a few hours….wish my Tablet hadn’t been giving me problems or I’d have more photos.

We had a nice lunch today, alongside a massive wedding reception…I also get tons of stares being the only foreigner all weekend, but I’m used to it, and also I agree with others, Chinese people are nice, they are just curious about foreigners.

I hope to grow my cooperation with geekcook “family”, they really are a modern and young Chinese company, building a brand, and also standing for something in China. They just wished me well on my bus trip back to Shenzhen and also my USA trip. David tells me to say hi to Obama for him. hah.

Incoming search terms:

• relationship building chines

Since they didn’t publicly post their views, I will place it here to give various

Against Keeping Her
Keep personal and business separate – you are not a non-profit, you’re a business, and your business goal is to make money. no drame.

Please, focus on business

For Waiting Longer

A few said its too early to see what can happen, give her some time to get over things, take care of her emergencies, think about what she wants, and take it from there.

For Keeping Her

I got a rather long email from a business mentor friend of mine:

Here’s what I think…

I had a similar thing happen with one of our workers, there was a period there when anything that could go wrong did – her friend was in teh Japanese earthquake (= one week off) her mother needed to go to the hospital (=late to work), her power was down (well that is regular and probably true), she had to go to teh dentist, her friends sister needed medical attention – i could go on, but you get my drift. WE can close to sacking her several times. But as you say – managing Filiponos is managing a culture. And my understanding of the culture is this:

- you very rarely speak the direct truth, especially to westerners
- you never know where your next $ is coming from and you must cobble it together as best you can

but also

- if treated well you are extremely loyal and very committed

So – anyway, your case…. I think an 18 year old girl who gets pregnant is going to be very very scared and she would most definitely not answer your question “are oyu pregnant?” Quite apart from the shame there is the fear of losing this big opportunity, her income, the scholarship.

I place it in a very different “lying” basket to say… “Did you steal this money?”

So, if it were me – yes I would give her another chance.

I would sit her down or on the phone, whatever, and say…. “I really value you and I really want you on this team, but i need you to be honest with me. For my part I can guarantee that I will never sack you without first a.) letting you know there is a problem, b.) giving you time to fix the problem and c.) giving you fair warning. But i need you to trust me and to tell me the truth.”

Also bear in mind most of these people have been treated appallingly by westerners – my staff tell tales of having firms use software so they can check their screens throughout the day to see if there are working.

And the end of my tale is that we stuck with her, even when her city flooded and she was off work for 2 weeks – and now we have the MOST loyal committed staff member you could ask for. Also competent (dont forget your year of training)

there ya go, thats one perspective, hope it helps

also – i know you know this – but they are not in the “mutual employee/ employer respect paradigm – they are in the “you boss/me worker” paradigm. Very hard to break down, and even when you think you have, it could be they are just giving what they think you want.

But then again, up until last night I had not heard from Darlene for weeks….and only hearing rumors and the report from Joel my accountant in the Philippines on what was happening….

And then I finally received a proper email from her last night…getting an open and honest feedback:

[Offline] Darlene to Michael
show details 7:58 PM (3 hours ago)

Hi Boss,

The truth is I confirmed that i was preggy on last dec 28 2010 and i was very afraid of everything. I decided to keep it to you, to my family and to my friends especially to you coz i know that your expecting too much for me and also my mom.. my mom leave me on april coz she found out the truth i as left alone.. till now I deliver my child without my mom and my boyfirend was Ian Cruz who has no work to provide what i need. He is hurting me and I really miss those person who really cares for me.. I deliver my child on august 24 after 3 days in labor i was in critical condition but h\then I did everything to make him okay coz he is already in critical too.. he already release his feces to my stomach and 2 weeks in hospital.. but now I’m already okay my aunt was the one whose taking care of my baby.. and I really need to work to provide his needs. I’m really really sorry boss for what I did. I made that thing and lied just to survive to buy my baby clothes also. I as thankful to shadstone coz it gives me everything and especially my career and dignity here in our town.. coz they saw me going to school and still working in spite i was pregnant thats why i was very thankful to you.. and I am ready of my punishment that you will give to me. if i have no work to be its okay i will just apply to mall as a sales lady or somewhere to pay my bills… i was very thankful to you and really really sorry..

Thanks!
Darlene

Darlene is a resourceful person, I believe she will make it even if she loses this job and this scholar program…..

I just need more time to think, I will chat to her more soon.

—–
Update Sunday Sept 18:

Good email from a friend, she agreed I can post it anonymously:

Hats off to you!

In some ways, you are now more Asian than I am Why?
Im less warm than most Filipinos — partly upbringing
and partly coz I worked overseas in the past… As such,
I would have confronted the said staff and would have
asked her point blank what the score was… If she told
the truth, I might have given her a second change… If not, good bye…

Having said that, I just wanted to let you know that regardless of your decision — and you seem to be pretty torn on which way you’d go — you’re doing a good thing!

I guess you have to ask yourself, is she worth keeping? There are plenty of other deserving Filipinos you could help… But she’s already there… So, if you do give her a second chance, make sure she holds up her end of the bargain… Otherwise, adios! Trust me, you don’t want to get too entangled in other peoples’ private lives.

You know what’s sad? Sometime, it’s the Filipinos who really need the money who act foolishly and do irrational things that potentially ruin their lives. Which is probably why I’m a bit frustrated — a good majority of Filipinos need to smarten up —- that’s the only way the Philippines will progress. Haaaay, how I wish it were otherwise!

Anyway, keep up the good work!

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Hi Mike,

Joel sent me this email telling me she needs to take an emergency leave starting today to assist her dying relative. I do not know how long will it be.

Hi Joel,

Thanks for this email. Please remind Darlene to send us a scanned copy of the hospital certification with regards to dying relative along with the details of hospital check in and check out.

Thanks,
Marie

Date: Mon, Aug 22, 2011 at 8:25 PM
Subject: text message from Darlene

“Joel emergency lang pakisabi kay Marie leave na ko. sya muna place order ngayon kasi punta kami hospital dinala na yung dying relative ko”

I was really wondering what this meant, and days went by….and then 2 days later Marie’s water broke and was rushed to the hospital….I was waiting / hoping Darlene would be back from her death in the family trip, or at least checking emails…..

There had been rumors in the neighborhood (all the staff that work on my team are in Quezon City, Manila, Philippines) that Darlene was pregnant…and that rumor had been going around since my june trip to the Philippines ….and I met her for lunch w/ Marie’s brother Roc Roc….. she came in her school univerity uniform (that I financed) and was rather “bundled up”. It was a rainy day, and I didn’t see it in her face that she could be pregnant. I asked her…and she told me she was not pregnant…and that her studies were on track. I had the scholarship agreement ready to print, she agreed to everything (she was saying that the monthly allowance was low….but accepted it)….

I almost wanted to cry. It has felt good to feel that I was sending someone to get an education. I had taken her under my wing….so many people told me I was crazy/stupid to keep her when I realized we needed to get her more experienced and better english in order to continue to add value to the business….I was told by friends and mentors not to waste time with sending her to school and let her go and hire someone new.

But I thought it would be giving her a chance after almost a year of loyal work, to send her to university and start a regular Philippines scholarship fund…

….well…tonight we had Joel go to her house and check on her…..and this is his report (sent to me just an hour or 2 ago):

Email Subject: Thursday visit Darlene’s House

from Joel Sy
to Michael Michelini
cc: Marie Balaan
date Fri, Sep 9, 2011 at 12:02 AM
subject Thursday visit Darlene’s House

hide details 12:02 AM (1 hour ago)

visited her place Thursday afternoon, I called her why she is not here to meet me but she said the cellphone signal is not good so just text her my message.

– She chose the date of our meeting. Her text message reply – “She is sorry for not meeting me and she having her eye checkup and texted me to visit her tomorrow, “She is having eye problems after the delivery, a friend will visit her later to fix the laptop”.

I asked a person in her house – what is their landline number and text Darlene that she text me what time we can talk via landline phone.

-After few hours she texted me a different landline no. , called the number and the line is busy.

Called the landline number I got earlier.

– She answered the phone and said “this phone is working”.

I asked her what do you plan for your work and your school.

- “She is waiting for her parents to come to help her here in Manila”.
– “She will stop the 1st semester school and if she can still work for Shadstone she will work full time, the part time monthly allowance is not enough for her daily needs and for the 2nd semester she will work part time”

I asked her to chat with Mike to properly report her plans.

– “She has an eye problem , cannot open a computer”, She plans to chat with Mike next week.

I asked for the business cards.

– “ ok she will look for the business cards”.

Unreal….I mean, the business is back on track and operational…had to train 2 new staff (thanks Ecky and Czar!) under pressure, while this shenzhen bootup weekend was going on…..

So here is my thought process:

Reasons To Keep Her:
• I have already started to make the investment – Its hard to say you made a bad decision….but its also a waste to put good money after bad…seems this will only get more difficult….she is lying to me.
• She is young and scared – yes, she is just 18 years old and to work from her home when her parents went away was a bad thing. And then she got pregnant, scared to lose her scholarship, her job, and to let me down. Maybe this lie got exploded bigger and bigger.
• We spent time training her – A sad fact…..but yea, I’m used to training and having turnover…so not a big reason.
• This was not done as an attack on my business – Marie said how do we know she won’t do this again, and this could have bankrupted the company,…… But I feel if we let this one work out she should be super loyal in the future, right?
• I still believe she is a good person and worker – I still remember the day I interviewed, she had her cover sheet custom prepared for my company, and a list of questions about the business…how it operates, the flow, cashflow….really intelligent questions. This is compared to the majority I interviewed that didn’t even know the name of my business.

Reasons She Cannot Stay:

• She lied to me to my face – I met with her in Technohub in Quezon City…and asked her to her face if she was pregnant and she said no.
• How will this affect my image as a boss to current and future Filipino staff – Does this make me look like a pushover if I let her stay? Or kind and others will want to work for me?
• I’m not her father, brother, etc – I’m running a business…..I need to separate business and personal.

Things I do not know:

• Did she really have a baby? – I think its 99% sure now after Joel’s visit.
• How are her school grades? – Is it possible she kept her school grades in good standing?

I always think and wonder how to make this a win-win…..but really, it seems like a lose lose….

….if I keep her, then how will the others look at me as a boss/ manager? And will she do this again?

…if I let her go, she will become another single mom in the philippines without a job and not finishing her education. Or maybe she’ll find a way without me.

I’m also considering maybe taking her out of working part time, and keeping it a pure scholarship program….as she will have to take care of her newborn as well now.

But this is just highlighting another issue in the Philippines….and why a few other friends of mine have moved their businesses out of there…..

Again, managing people is also managing cultures….and in the Philippines, I am not alone in dealing with this family and personal trauma.

During lunch I brought up differences between Chinese work ethic and computer skills to Filipinos…. Auntie Malou mentioned how Filipinos don’t understand hard work until they work outside of the country….that they are too comfortable living in Philippines to understand the “Big picture” of life and the world out there. Being comfortable and “getting by” is what creates the majority of Filipinos to get lazy….

A common blog topic of mine is discussing cultural differences……almost feel like a racist, having compared Americans to Chinese, Americans to Europeans and Chinese to Filipinos …. But really, I believe its important to understand to succeed in international business….and we have to be aware people have certain cultural trends and as a manager or a boss we have to be careful how we deal with people in specific countries. I sometimes feel like I have a split personality…..getting better at knowing cultural tendencies and thought processes….I know this investment will help me in the long run for both business and personal reasons.

Then during lunch Amy arrived (she was a bit late, she’s a workaholic like me and was behind leaving the office), Malou worried if Chinese would like to eat this pasta and sauce…but Amy agreed….she was appreciative to have any food they can provide. The language was also funny, and its really hard to describe in a blog post, but I just sat and realized how now we are more actively mixing Chinese and Filipino.

For the past years, I really tried to keep a separation line between departments and teams…with Marie managing the customer side of USA ecommerce and Amy dealing with the China factory side….as well as other people on those 2 divisions….but as the world “flattens” and as we integrate the USA ecommerce with the Chinese ecommerce….its time now to bridge these cultures and learn how to work more seemlessly. Also will take some pressure of me.

During coffee and cake time (awesome Filipino cake brought over from the Philippines!) we started talking about Carlos’s upcoming baby shower….I wondered how it was done in China. There seems to be some sort of baby celebration 1 month after the baby has been born (as new chinese moms stay home at least 1 month after giving birth), but this celebration isn’t really a baby shower (maybe I’ll attend one in the future so I’ll leave this for a future blog post).

Life is so rich, so amazing….Marie and her German husband, Daniel, building a family. Amy there representing China. We had a neighbor stop by, she is a Filipina mother of a newborn child between her and her Iceland husband. I had been earlier chatting to a Mexican woman who is studying Chinese.

Maybe I had some cultural exposure in New York…but really since coming to Asia I’ve been submerged in international business…..I just feel more “sheltered” in America….or I wasn’t looking for this international community? I really believe maybe its the expat life, living overseas, that forces us to deal with so many cultures and “think outside the box”.

The world is massive…I wish more of my friends and family could be exposed like this….the personal growth is exponential.

Incoming search terms:

• german-filipino babies
• cultural differences
• filipinos working in china

During my last two weeks back, being a social guy, I strike up conversations all over the place….and many of them are single Filipino mothers. I am so curious how this happens, and I am getting more and more bold to ask questions of the story how it happened.

Some example stories…. I will leave out names.

• She was under 18 (think 17), he was mid 20s, a filipino couple….she got pregnant, her father got so angry because she is so young, their families knew each other, so the girl’s father went to the boyfriend’s family to ask for (something?) and then got in a fight with the boyfriend at his home, punching out the boyfriends front tooth. In Philippines, girls under 18 are not allowed to date older men, and the boyfriend could have gotten in serious trouble from the police and government.
• Bartender in Wan Chai I met, she is 22 years old, computer science degree in Manila, has a 2 year old son, father left after she got pregnant, she now works 6 days a week night shift in Hong Kong, with a 2 hour commute each way to her home. Sends money back to the Philippines regularly…very angry at her baby’s father who left.
• Dancer in Angeles 22 years old with a 3 year old son, she was from the province (deep out in the islands far from city center) and she told me she thought she was in love…but after she got pregnant, here filipino boyfriend disappeared….

I can go on and on with stories, my friend MikeMo works at Western Union and the Philippines is one of the top countries to receive money from overseas workers….

Also in the airport yesterday, I met a European woman, Esther from Samaritana that supports Filipino single moms that become prostitutes to pay for their baby and their family. I was a couple hours early for my flight, and Esther and I went through some stories….her non-profit doesn’t do much internet marketing, she honestly said they don’t have the budget to scale too big and are focusing mostly on Quezon City area of Manila.

She also said facebook and website marketing wouldn’t be effective for her organization to find these victims, because most don’t have internet at all and sleep on garbage piles in back alleys. I still advised she make more internet awareness, guides, how to, and support networks….it inspires me to do something as well.

Lets analyze why this happens, try to break down points:

Culture

The Philippines is primarily a Catholic state, forbidding abortion and after morning pills. I am not going to get into pro-life and pro-choice discussions, I am just going to inform you guys thats how it is. Also people are not educated on condoms…asking some people they do not know what it is. And those who know what condoms is, either think its illegal in the Philippines (which it is not) or are too embarrassed to purchase them. They are afraid to purchase them because the cashiers give them strange looks, like they are a whores. Its just a deep rooted cultural topic in Philippines. Last year I blogged cultural differences between the Philippines and China that is worth a read.

Family First

In Asian culture, there is no choice, you need to support kids, family, whereas in Western culture, its a bit more of a choice or financial condition circumstance. And it seems women are expected to be the ones to earn the money…which is so opposite from anywhere else I know. Maybe the men feel women can earn more money, have better education. But overall, in my opinion, Filipinos really take care of their kids and so many times the mother has to leave her children to her parents (child’s grandparents) while she leaves the country or the province to a city to earn money….however she is willing or able to.

Sometimes the women get jobs overseas, Hong Kong or Singapore being popular places. I learned the basic process and hopefully the mother gets a job in a respectable family household that respects her.

Abuse, Cannot go to police

But many times, these single moms either willingly or entrapped, become prostitutes. Maybe they do it to earn more money than in a legitimate job, maybe they are not qualified to get a high enough paying job….or just have no idea how to get a job that can pay enough for their baby and their parents they are supporting. And prostitution is illegal in the Philippines, and Esther told me so many times boyfriends pimp out their girls, customers beat them and abuse them….and the mother cannot go to the police, as she is doing an illegal act of solicitation. And the overseas workers in Hong Kong or other places also may be subject to these conditions, also at a disadvantage being away from their home country and no one to turn to, no one to trust.

What about the men?

This is a touchy one….but I have to say, in my experience in call centers and web work, Filipino women are more diligent and willing to work hard. I’m not sure where this happens in the upbringing or educational system in the Philippines, but the men mostly work general contractor construction jobs or manual labor. They do not seem to be as computer savvy or as strong in the English language. Then they seem to rely on the women to earn the money.

Again, its another frustration in the Philippines that as Leon tells me, and I have to agree, has to be “bred” out over future generations….hopefully as the world is becoming more “flat” and information and opportunity are spread globally equally, all human beings will have a better chance at living the life they want.

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But in a way, everyone wants to buy “exclusive” products, imported good are always more sexy.

So back to foreign education….many of my friends in China have spent time overseas for the undgraduate or graduate (MBA) degrees. I think definitely traveling abroad, for anyone, Chinese or American or European, is sooooo valuable because you are exposed to different cultures, different setting, and it builds up your “away” time from your home country. It really develops you faster than anything else I can imagine….and for a student it is even better.

While I didn’t study overseas, I did choose a college away from my hometown – Stevens Tech was right next to New York and I wanted to start moving towards the “big apple”. It also meant I couldn’t live at my parent’s house anymore. I remember my parents were sad and also realized living away would cost much more money in student loan debt (sigh). But I knew it would force me to meet new people, get away from the “home nest” and develop my social skills as well as book skills.

I had a meeting with my friend Lavinia and she wants me to help promote Chinese to study overseas. She is representing a set of Canadian universities and has all the resources and tools to help Hong Kong citizens and mainland Chinese to get there.

Here are some of the ways she can help:

• Direct University Admissions – No English required when applying to Dorset. Students are given a placement test when they register. Qualified students are eligible to directly enter University Transfer program. Students complete first one or two years of required University Transfer courses at Dorset. University Transfer year 1 and year 2 can be completed within one and half years
  Students who do not qualify for direct admission can enroll in the Dorset Academic Preparation Program (ESL)
• Letters of acceptance both from Dorset and one of Dorset’s partnering reputable universities – After completing the required courses at Dorset, students will transfer to Dorset’s partnering Canadian reputable Universities, such as Acadia University, Dalhousie University, Cape Breton University to complete their studying Bachelor or Master Degree. University year 3 and year 4 can be finished within 1 and half years
• Reputable university BACHELOR’s or MASTER’s degree – By Dorset’s unique University Transfer program, students are able to gain a Bachelor within 3 years or a Master within 2 years. After graduation, and according to Canadian Immigration Law, students are eligible to apply for 3-year work permit, and plan for immigration.

Anyway, I’m really excited to help promote Chinese and Hong Kong people to study abroad, its a great experience to do international travel and doing it while you are studying is even better. I wish I had done that more when I was in university.

I’ve been learning about the process alongside him the past few months here in Hong Kong, and I thought it would be interesting to blog about the process in Hong Kong.

Which hospital?

Seems this St Theresa is a great one, at least for foreigners. It has a catholic feeling, a bit strange for me in Hong Kong / Asia. There are statues of Jesus on the cross, the Virgin Mark and all kinds of other signs of Catholicism and Christianity. I haven’t seen that much since I was back in USA.

There are also options for circumcision from doctors, and other options maybe one wouldn’t think is possible in Asia.

Another thing people keep highlighting is so many mainlanders (mainland Chinese) rushing into Hong Kong to have babies. But while I was there, it was not at all as busy as I was made to believe. In the photos in the below gallery, there were many empty hospital beds.

I had heard other friend’s of mine who come to

Why are there so many mainland Chinese having babies in Hong Kong?

This is due to the interest to get a Hong Kong passport, and ability to travel internationally, as well as free education in Hong Kong for babies born there. Plus, with a Hong Kong passport, the child can easily travel into Mainland China without much hassle at all. So for the most part, I’m under the impression that if at all possible, Mainland Chinese parents should try to have their child in Hong Kong to get the most flexibility in rights.

Cost of Having a Baby in Hong Kong

cost ranged between 30,000 hong kong dollars (approx 4,000 us dollars) to 150,000 hkd (19,000 usd). A lot of that price range depends if you want a shared room, private room, special care, etc. Again, this is without health insurance, I’m not sure how its calculated with health coverage.

Again, witnessing this newborn baby process as a friend has also made me think of friend’s weddings, babies happening all around me as the cycle of life continues. Leon has been working so hard to make money for his quickly expanding family. A similar post I wrote last year was my friend Mike Andrew’s newborn baby while managing his family business and the changes in his thought process and life outlook. My trip to USA late last year I also attended one of my best friend’s Tayan’s Indian wedding that was exciting. This year my friend Julian is getting married and I’m in the wedding party. I also have indirect pressure from Nana for a baby.

Just keep thinking back to how today’s world, today’s generation in my age group are going through odyssey and life for our parents and grandparents will not be the same as our generation. Whether we want it or not, its not possible…..technology, communication tools,international business…..all changing so quickly.

I wish all the best for Leon, his family, and newborn baby Emma K!

Comment left by my friend in Facebook, good to note

May Zhu: hey mike, it must be very interest to be a witness of having a baby, one thing you said why mainland chinese people want to having babies in hongkong, the important reason you didn’t mention it’s because our country have birth control,so if delivery in hongkong,then we can have one more baby. i think this is the main reason.

May Zhu: by the way, today i also went to checked my baby in KL Malaysia, the hosipital is totally diffirent with china,make me feel i’m not in hosipital but in hotel. Maybe because it’s a private hospital and i choose the special care, so everything looks fine. After one more month, my boy will coming out to say hi to uncle mike….. lol….

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But I enjoy to blog, so who cares what others may think.

Maybe its the weather changing, but I have been “perma-sick” for the past two weeks, congestion, headaches, body aches, cough. I finally took a day off this Saturday and SLEPT!….much needed day of doing nothing.

While waking up and falling back asleep…..I had so many wild dreams….mostly thinking back to different times in my life…..business deals, relationships, family. Maybe some situations I wish I could change, go back and change….at least thats how it seemed in my dream. I had these chances in my dream, these intersections of my life where I could do more, say more, do less, say less.

There is the saying, dance like nobody is watching, and I applied that to my blog today, “blog like nobody is watching”.

What a week last week was, let me hit on a few points:

Marriage – So much pressure for women to get married before they are “too old”. Both directly in my life, and in my friends’ lives…this is a daily topic. At the age of 30, I also get that pier pressure to do what everyone else is doing and settle down, get a family. But to do it for the sake of doing it is crazy. I want to be 100% convinced I have found the right person, and am confident in my current life position its the bes thing to do.

Divorce – The opposite of the above, but I have been talking to friends who are going through divorce…that has to be extremely painful for anyone…wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I also feel in today’s society, its getting more acceptable to give up more easily in a marriage…whereas in the past, social pressure frowned on divorce thus it was much less. Then in the past, did people simply stay together because friends/family/society didn’t like it? Did people live for themselves, or for others?

Pregnancy – Been a bit sad learning in Philippines unexpected pregnancy can affect a woman’s life so drastically. And in China its so common for birth control and abortion. Just such extremes. But I feel an unexpected child birth is why there is more poverty in Philippines and other lower income, less fortunate countries. Not saying what is right or wrong about “after morning pills” and abortions….but when a women gets pregnant at a young age, or an unexpected time in her life…it really has harsh reality outcomes. Yes, I know, this is life….

Child birth – Once the baby is born, the woman (or hopefully happy couple) will have to take care of this newborn baby. Food, clothing, school. Hopefully the child will grow up with equal opportunities to live the life they always wanted.

Unemployment – People feeling rejected from their jobs. Not sure what they are meant to do with their lives. Are they not good enough to add value to the company they used to work for? Which company or industry do they best fit in? Whats the point of work? These are just the random thoughts flying through someone who is unemployed and cannot find the right job. Hearing this over and over.

Working in jobs we don’t like because we don’t have a choice – Then so many people get stuck into jobs they don’t like. Maybe they have to pay the bills. They don’t have the schooling or education for their dream job. Maybe they don’t have confidence to quit and take a chance in their life. I think that is the most common reason, so many people are afraid to quit their job, to try something new.

I am glad I got so much must needed rest today. Didn’t check into any places on foursquare (ie, didn’t leave my apartment in Hong Kong), ate some various dried foods in my place, didn’t check email (too much) and instead…

slept and thought

Wish I could do this more often. It is mind expanding.

And yes, living in China (Asia) has changed my mindset about logic, reality…the reason of life. And I think its true, the longer you are out here, the more disconnected with “home” you get.

I was not born chinese, sure –> that is a true statement. Does that mean i cannot live like “them” (sounds kinda racist…)? i do agree, american way of life is much more……how do yo say….smooth, easy…..i think for the most part, western life is much easier compared to the majority of Asian countries.

I can hear my older generations back in USA shouting out loud – “thats what our soldiers and ancestors fought so hard for, to achieve freedom and the American dream, so that future generations of Americans can live free and be rewarded if they work hard”.

Yes, that is something truly unique about America, compared to China with still a rather “strong handed” government, and Europe with a pretty high tax structure, America still seems to give the most allowance for people to work hard and build a comfortable life.

So many times I am amazed at how hard working Chinese are. Today’s blog photo is a couple years ago (originally posted on Ningbo trip recap in March 2008), but I thought it would be good to dig up and use for today’s blog post. If you look in the background, there is a Chinese farmer taking a rest in the wagon of his cart! They live their job, work and earning money is the way of life and thinking for the typical Chinese….they really can sleep anywhere

But friends said i have already sacrificed anough living in Dongguan and that my role as a marketing, sales, and online social media dude does not at all require me to be in Dongguan. I have to keep networking with ecommerce and technical companies in various cities, and actively blogging and using social media (which is difficult from within the GFW of China (great firewall))

Heck, it is true, most of what i do can be done anywhere…..reading the four hour work week it over and over tells you how you have to organize and manage more. My main thing is training the staff, as well as potential client visits to the warehouse. But I think both of those can be delegated and trained, others need to know how to replace me anyway!

Those following my blog (LIFE!) have seen me bouncing back and forth from dongguan to shenzhen to hong kong for the majority of 2011. It started out a bit more scheduled, living in hong kong (really small place, but dont need much) driving in from hong kong once or twice a week to the Chinese fiveislands fulfillment center. But it got a bit more crazy, client signing up on saturday, ecommerce meetups in shenzhen, startup mondays in hong kong, jumping around trying to find my calling, to find a balance in my schedule, which part of the week in which city of South China?

As we are halfway through the year, I have been reflecting on where to spend most of my time. the hong kong apartment is only a six month contract so renewal is coming. I see opportunity to setup the shenzhen coworking and bridge shenzhen and hong kong.

I’m getting closer to building up a network and experience inside China and ecommerce and social media Pieces are coming together, and I am not losing sight of the goal….the goal of building a massive network of people between China (Asia) and USA…international business. I think it was that movie Lord of War that got me addicted to the adventure of international business.

Can I live like a Chinese person? hmmmm

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Vlad had this hilarious phone, by Lenovo, he bought in China wal mart – and he described a bunch of the features….let me explain the different features to highlight, and reflect on these points and explain how this is directly made for the China market.

• Dual SIM card – this is not so special, but can represent the Hong Kong / Taiwan / South China businessman. Its really annoying to keep flipping SIM cards when you cross borders…and you miss calls when one SIM card is out of its phone, etc.
• Local Voicemail – VERY CHINA focused Set Phone Calls that you miss go to a the phone’s locally stored SD card!
• Blacklist SMS – for those annoying advertisements you get on your phone, especially in China…we get bombarded with advertisements. Maybe also get bombarded with suppliers or contacts we do not want to talk to. Perfect for the busy, traveling businessman in China.
• Blacklist Phone Calls – Have a pesky supplier calling? Or salesman? Maybe bill collector? Or an overseas customer who wants his money back? Simply add their number to this blacklist, conveniently on the main menu.
• Various Background Noises – This is hilarious, you can set the phone to answer with the phone’s pre-recorded backgroun noise – such as MTR (metro, subway), restaurant, busy office, shopping mall. Why would you need this? hmmm, there are a few reasons, but if you are talking to someone who you told you were going to a restaurant, but you’re actually relaxing at home, or out with other people, you can say you are busy eating dinner. This can actually be pretty useful for getting out of phone calls.
• Your personal robot companion – You have the option of having an animated cute robot bounce around the screen as you type. Totally useless, but maybe the cartoon keeps you cheered up throughout your stressful business day.
• Pretty animated Snowflake background – Just use the stylus pointer to enable the background to be a nice scenic background of big snowflakes dropping sprinkling down the side of the screen….how cute, haha.

This article may make more sense for those of us doing business in China….but I can see how handy this phone can be!

We also discussed how this is the perfect example that China …is China….and you need to make localized products specially tailored for this unique, and wild, market.

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I guess I gradually got used to be away from home, sleepover weekends with my grade school friends, boy scout summer camps, Italy culture trip in high school, going away for college, working in New York.

But those still allowed me to spend the holidays with mom and dad. Put up with some traffic and holiday scrambling to get home for some good cooking and sharing stories.

Now it seems I get home once a year, if not more.

I get used to it, more and more. Keep my family and friends in my mind when times get hard.  Pushing myself for them.

And grandma, Nana, I miss those weekend trips to your house, spending sometimes even a week during the summer there.  Picking rasberries, playing badminton, watching baseball with Granddad, Papa.

One of my favorite memories with my mom was getting ready to go to school in the morning. It was like preparing for “battle” or something. We would wave goodbye to dad from the window as he backed out of the driveway, my sister and I would finish packing our bags, and by 8 or 8:15am we had to be out the door to walk to school.

And we would run around the house certain days, and we would sing

GO, go, go-go-go-go.
Fight, fight, fight-fight-fight-fight
Win, win, win-win-win-win
GO – FIGHT – WIN

Other awesome memories were summer school at home (I know, right?). I don’t know how we pulled it off, but mom and dad arranged one of our church members, Janet, who was a teacher at a really fancy, rich school, to come certain days in the summer to our home and do “schooltime”. It was only a couple hours a day, two or three times a week (if that?) but I remember how much my sister and I loved to have school there. It was because it was more interactive, more fun…..learning was fun I remember. Discovering.

And then another great memory was also during our summer vacation, matinee movie time. Matinee movie is the first movie when the movie theater opens, and its at a deep discount because its like 12 or 1pm in the afternoon, so not a popular time. We would get a few of these per month (maybe) and mom, Jocelyn (sister) and I would hop into the VW Rabbit (yes, its a car!) and drive to the local theater. Driving in the summer heat, parking in the parking lot walking up to the 12 screen cinema that upn entrance was freezing cold, smelling like popcorn and candy. The other kids running around screaming waiting for the staff to open the velvet rope so we can get seated. And it was actually not during, but after the movie that was great too. Normally we’d drive to McDonalds, and on the drive, mom would make us reflect on the movie. To discuss our favorite part, answer questions about what the movie really meant. I think that critical thinking after the movie was always helpful….get our minds thinking about the meaning of the movie.

Oh, and McDonalds….yes, I know its not healthy, and its marketing this fatty food to kids. But the happy meals, the playground, the other kids in the restaurant. The TOY inside the happy meal.

Life was really good. I miss those times mom. I love you.

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Sure, you can spin things in different ways, and life is always about perspective. There is that saying “history books are written by those who win the war, not lose the war”, and I’m sure for the most part the rich and famous businessmen of today will be remembered as really nice, smart guys, right?

But in today’s online, transparent world, the world audience can more clearly outline all different perspectives and angles of a startup history, which founder was good and which founder was “evil”.

Reading this gawker article, I am borrowing some excerpts and bullet pointing each of these “not so nice” things these famous tech entrepreneurs have done:

• Paul Allen says in his new book that fellow Microsoft founder Bill Gates twice watered down Allen’s stake in Microsoft—with Allen’s consent but to his later regret.
• The “spiritual leader” of Twitter and man who coined the company’s name, meanwhile, still feels betrayed that he was fired by eventual Twitter CEO Ev Williams
• Ev Williams also left a bitter trail of colleagues at Blogger.com, the company he co-founded and later sold to Google.
• Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who has admitted to sending instant messages in which he wrote “I’m going to f*****k them” in reference to associates with whom he was collaborating on a Facebook-like website.
• Zynga CEO Mark Pincus, who once admitted, before some of his scammy advertising partners were publicized, that “I did every horrible thing in the book to — just to get revenues right away.”
• Steve Jobs misled his Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak about the size of a bonus the pair received from Atari, giving him only $350 and keeping $5,000 for himself.

There are tons of great comments there after the original post. I also like a few of the comments in there, sharing below:

johne 04/21/11
Here’s the problem.
In order to succeed you must get obsessed and stay obsessed.
It makes you a dick, but you get shit done.

themightyspitz 04/20/11
[[[referring to a quote from joker character in Batman movie]]] You and your kind….all you care about is money. It’s not about the money; it’s about…..sending a message.

The article also says that Bill Gates now donates a lot of his money to charity organizations. But does that make it right? Actually, maybe if that money goes into his hands and then back to charity organizations, that will make the world a better place then where it was/would have been had he not maybe stepped on people’s toes to build Microsoft to where it was.

Another point is the article says TECH CEO – why does it need to be applicable to just technology companies? I think its hard to be a CEO, or a leader…..you have to be responsible making DECISIONS and when you make a decision, many times it helps some people, and hurts/upsets others. Sure we try, as a leader / decision maker to make the best win-win decision, but its just not possible to make EVERYONE happy.

This made me think back to a good quote from my motivational quotes page:

“Please all and you will please none.” – Aesop (fabulist)

There are a tons of comments on the gawker article, another stating that “its not personal, its business“, which is another reason against mixing friends and business, BUT you also want to do business with people you trust and have relationships with, which normally means friends. I have personally tried to work with people I don’t get along with, and it can really explode. And its dangerous to do business with someone you never met…even retail customers, the reason you can do that is because the amount of financial risk is low. When you need to do a long term business deal, you want to do that with someone you trust, and that someone normally is a friend.

Anyway, I think we need to separate business and personal, just like a sports game or a video game competition between friends, during the game we fight against each other, but at the end of the game, we shake hands and congratulate each other.

Because business is just another “game” and we can’t let it get too personal.

Unfortunately, people take it personal, get emotional in the workplace (I have to admit, I do mix emotions as well), but in the end, business is just one big game of risk.

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I should cross promote the two blogs more, not sure if people even realize i have this blog translated to chinese. When I first came to China at the end of 2007 my good friend, Gao Xing, gave me my chinese name, mai li ni , which is a best effort to convert my family name, michelini, to a chinese version. I first blogged about disco Mai Li Ni 迈理倪

I then bought the domain mailini.com 迈理倪 and had it translated to chinese by my staff and friends.

Its not google translate, i have Melissa currently doing it on her part time, I have to upgrade the blog style, currently on wordpress too – mailini.com/blog and I asked my friends which style of the wordpress blog it should be….I don’t just want it to be the same style as the English blog, I know in China that Chinese websites are much different then American sites.

I’m also listening to my friend Larry and going to try to use Weibo more (the Chinese twitter) and link my Chinese blog feed to it. I have already gotten some buzz on the Shenzhen coworking space.

China is where the future is, I have to be more active on the social media, soon these next few weeks:

• More of my english blogs here will be translated to Chinese
• I will upgrade the Chinese blog theme
• More effort put into Weibo (Chinese Twitter) with feed of my Chinese blog posting

I just need to learn Chinese, as I have friends and staff helping now, but when I get blog comments on my chinese blog, I cannot reply to them, I also need those translated to me.

Maybe one day, heck it should happen, I will be more active to be able to read and write Chinese. That would be amazing to me. It just seems like such a complex language, so many characters.