BUT HE MAKES AN AWESOME POINT when voters choose leaders. He takes us presidents election Bush vs Kerry ( page 20), leaders are voted in who say “stay the course” rather then wishy washy…..And Kerry is seen as a wishy-washy decision maker….changing his mind on many different debates….therefore not winning the votes from Americans who want a strong leader who will not bow down and give up so easily…..

whether we like it or not, trial and error is a great way to solve problems in a complex world…but leadership is not seen that way.

He reflects on the fall of the soviet union, explaining that feedback was supressed…..only central government made decisions, engineers were held captive from open free thinking and trial and error.

Book is also loaded up with great quotes, one by the Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping:

“Cross the river by feeling for stones” – Deng Xiaoping

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better” – Samuel Beckett

“One doesn’t have to be a Marxist to be awed by the scale and success of early-20th-century efforts to transform strong-willed human beings into docile employees” – Gary Hamel

Throughout the book, the author Harford constantly refers to Peter Palchinsky’s principles:

1. Try new things, expecting that some will fail
2. Make failures survivable: create safe spaces for failure or move backwards in small steps.
3. Make sure when you know you’ve failed, or you will never learn

Funny thing also was it brought up Shenzhen, noted as one of a charter city from mainland China’s competitive threat to Hong Kong as China’s first special economic zone. (page 150)

Organizations many times have to take the bottom up approach, to have workers that are willing to adapt and speak up. Also “whistle blow” when his/her company isn’t following regulations or safety standards. And to reward these whistle blowers….the company must not punish them or ridicule them,

Trial and error will always be part of how any organization solves a complex, ever shifting problems (page 66)

On page 49 he talks about US president Lyndon Johnson was always confronted with a unanimous view from his advisor team, not to show dis….WRONG he needed to be presented with all kinds of perspectives, choices, data, information….clues…..

He proclaims Google as a great innovative company, and highlights that some of the recent biggest technology failures have been Google’s, but Google is smart to cut off those programs/products and focus on the winners.

The book’s last paragraph sums it up nicely:

The ability to adapt requires this sense of security, an inner confidence that the cost of failure is a cost we will be able to bear. Sometimes that takes real courage; at other times all that is needed is the happy self-delusion of a lost three-year-old. Whatever is source, we need that willingness to risk failure. Without it, we will never truly succeed.

Not from today’s book, but something I thought would be interesting to include in today’s post: From Harvard Business Review’s 9 things Successful People do differently:

1. Set specific goals
2. Seize moment to act
3. Know how far you have to go
4. Be a realistic opportunist
5. Focus on getting better
6. Have grit (willingness to commit long term)
7. Build willpower
8. Don’t tempt fate
9. Focus on what you WILL DO, not what you won’t

This was a great read, as a “leader” and a businessman, I realize how I have to stop being afraid to make a mistake….but yes, I also cannot be too extreme in making crazy risky decisions that can completely bankrupt me either or lose my income. If we can master this balance…I’m sure we will be ahead of so many others in life.

Incoming search terms:

• adapt: why success always starts with failure reviews

Again, part of my continuous transition of life and career, I think spending today reflecting and reading helped a lot. Below I was typing notes on my tablet as I was reading, thought I would share the “cliff notes” from the book. But still recommend spending time to read it over.

conquering fear = defining fear – What are we afraid of, what do we have to lose? How hard is it really to get back to where you left off, get job back, get your income back? Think about the risks and rewards of keeping what we have and not being happy versus taking a risk and trying something new, with the worst case returning back where you started.

fear is optimistic denial, thinking life will get better – So many times we don’t want to try something new because we think the life we are living now can get better if we just keep putting up with it. But Tim calls this optimistic denial. We have to take charge of our lives and our destiny.

do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. He mentioned how when he spoke at Princeton University, he challenged the students to contact 3 famous people and ask them questions, the first one to do so would get a trip paid for around the world. NO one did it, or event attempted (he says if someone had at least told them they tried, they would have one) Tim’s point is that people feel that others are better then them, smarter than them, faster than them….so why bother trying? Don’t think this way!!!!!

dont chase happiness, chase excitement, passion, bliss, so ask what would excite yourself? Its not happiness we are looking for, he says happiness can be a bottle of wine and chocolate once a week. It should be passion and excitement we are looking for.

“life is too short to be small” benjamin disraeli

dreamlining, tmi, total monthly income

elimination time management isnt right, dont try to jam every minute of your day with things to do.

1. Doing something unimportant well does not make it important
2. requiring a lot of time does not make the task important.

what you do is important, not how you do it.

the end of time management, ask yourself these questions each day

1. am i being productive or just active?
2. am i inventing things to do to avoid the important?
3. if i only get this one task done today, will i be satisfied with my day?

low information diet

learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. – Robert Sawyer

“nobody can give you freedom. nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. if you’re a man, you take it” – Malcolm x

eliminate before you degate

mba, manage by absense where the owner founder purposely isnt always there in order to have staff ….. process oriented vs founder oriented business

removing yourself from the equation, outsourcing yourself.

“orders are nobody can see the great oz! not nobody, not nohow!” guardian of the emerald city gates, the wizard of oz

dont be the driver if the train, be the police officer on the side of the road that can pull people over if need be.

fewer options = more revenue, “the customer can have any color he wants,  so long as its black” – henry ford

Just an amazing book, I think this was a life changer for me when I read it back in San Diego, California back in summer 2007….and strongly recommend reading it to anyone who wants to change the way they think and work!

Sure, you can spin things in different ways, and life is always about perspective. There is that saying “history books are written by those who win the war, not lose the war”, and I’m sure for the most part the rich and famous businessmen of today will be remembered as really nice, smart guys, right?

But in today’s online, transparent world, the world audience can more clearly outline all different perspectives and angles of a startup history, which founder was good and which founder was “evil”.

Reading this gawker article, I am borrowing some excerpts and bullet pointing each of these “not so nice” things these famous tech entrepreneurs have done:

• Paul Allen says in his new book that fellow Microsoft founder Bill Gates twice watered down Allen’s stake in Microsoft—with Allen’s consent but to his later regret.
• The “spiritual leader” of Twitter and man who coined the company’s name, meanwhile, still feels betrayed that he was fired by eventual Twitter CEO Ev Williams
• Ev Williams also left a bitter trail of colleagues at Blogger.com, the company he co-founded and later sold to Google.
• Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who has admitted to sending instant messages in which he wrote “I’m going to f*****k them” in reference to associates with whom he was collaborating on a Facebook-like website.
• Zynga CEO Mark Pincus, who once admitted, before some of his scammy advertising partners were publicized, that “I did every horrible thing in the book to — just to get revenues right away.”
• Steve Jobs misled his Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak about the size of a bonus the pair received from Atari, giving him only $350 and keeping $5,000 for himself.

There are tons of great comments there after the original post. I also like a few of the comments in there, sharing below:

johne 04/21/11
Here’s the problem.
In order to succeed you must get obsessed and stay obsessed.
It makes you a dick, but you get shit done.

themightyspitz 04/20/11
[[[referring to a quote from joker character in Batman movie]]] You and your kind….all you care about is money. It’s not about the money; it’s about…..sending a message.

The article also says that Bill Gates now donates a lot of his money to charity organizations. But does that make it right? Actually, maybe if that money goes into his hands and then back to charity organizations, that will make the world a better place then where it was/would have been had he not maybe stepped on people’s toes to build Microsoft to where it was.

Another point is the article says TECH CEO – why does it need to be applicable to just technology companies? I think its hard to be a CEO, or a leader…..you have to be responsible making DECISIONS and when you make a decision, many times it helps some people, and hurts/upsets others. Sure we try, as a leader / decision maker to make the best win-win decision, but its just not possible to make EVERYONE happy.

This made me think back to a good quote from my motivational quotes page:

“Please all and you will please none.” – Aesop (fabulist)

There are a tons of comments on the gawker article, another stating that “its not personal, its business“, which is another reason against mixing friends and business, BUT you also want to do business with people you trust and have relationships with, which normally means friends. I have personally tried to work with people I don’t get along with, and it can really explode. And its dangerous to do business with someone you never met…even retail customers, the reason you can do that is because the amount of financial risk is low. When you need to do a long term business deal, you want to do that with someone you trust, and that someone normally is a friend.

Anyway, I think we need to separate business and personal, just like a sports game or a video game competition between friends, during the game we fight against each other, but at the end of the game, we shake hands and congratulate each other.

Because business is just another “game” and we can’t let it get too personal.

Unfortunately, people take it personal, get emotional in the workplace (I have to admit, I do mix emotions as well), but in the end, business is just one big game of risk.

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I have been in Asia almost 4 years now, and I used to not mind doing China daytime work and USA nighttime work (which is mostly USA phone calls)…but it wears you down. And as I get more and more clients and relations here in China, I have to build those relationships, by spending time at dinner and drinks with them. And on top of that my hyperactive traveling. I feel myself getting less and less connected to America.

Maybe this is what I wanted, I was always afraid of the future of the American economy, and a big driver of why I came out to China in the first place was for business opportunity and long term growth. In one way, I had hoped I was wrong, I don’t like to see America declining more and more…

As this blog title states, many people choose to ignore making a decision, to delay a decision, but by deciding to not make a decision is a decision in itself.

Sure, it is hard to make a decision, there is fear of making a mistake. There are so many moving variables in life. Many people want, or hope, others will make decisions for them. But that too is a decision.

And I have made the decision to be in Asia, to build my career, my business here. And my friend Sarah left a facebook post on my wall today, which sparked this post:

Sarah Zakarevicis –> Michael Michelini
Sarah: Reminds me of you!
me: nice it is inspiring! have a blog pot topic for it

So, obviously this got my attention, Sarah is a good friend from Jerzzzzy, and has known my through my travels and struggles since I moved out of New York City in early 2007.

Here are the lyrics, I’ll highlight the interesting points that maybe Sarah felt reminded me of her:

OneRepublic – Good Life

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don’t really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone

New names and numbers that I don’t know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We’re young enough to say

Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don’t know
Where I’ve been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado

Sometimes there’s airplanes I can’ t jump out
Sometimes there’s bullshit that don’t work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

When you’re happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I’ll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I’m taking a mental picture of you now
‘Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about

Yes, reading the lyrics I get to understand the song so much more (you know how you listen to songs and never catch the lyrics and true meaning of the song), yeap I’m a big traveler always on the road. Seems this is what everyone thinks of me, but hey its the life I love and glad that what I am, want to be seen as, are connecting.

To wrap up the post, at least I am

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I’ll save that blog post for once she gets me those photos, but in the meantime, I walked with her around the factory city and she took some awesome pictures with her 5dmkII camera that I’m posting here. Actually the photograph with my hairwash and waiting on the bench for a wash inspired my post 9 ways I’ve become more patient in China – as Li Jia was beside me laughing as she could see my holding in my anger….

We walked through a Chinese wet market (meat, vegetables under some massive roof structure, semi outdoors), and there are live chickens for sale – I think 100rmb each, and these chickens are jumping around pecking away….I tried to get as close as I could for the photo, it freaked me out!

Getting these photos today really made my day I uploaded them to facebook too and got some great feedback, so felt it deserver its own blog post. Trip to a barber, and a chicken / wet market in China.

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Put this photo from my roadtrip from Xiamen to Hong Kong last weekend….its going through one of the many road tunnels you drive through in China…and represents the endless feeling of being on the road I’m experiencing lately.

I have just really been more stressed then ever lately…so I may as well write down the reasons why I feel stressed and it can help me by getting it off my chest:

1. newyorkbarstore hacked, no buyer found – I listed the website for sale but didn’t find a buyer, that I could accept, but maybe its good….It was recently hacked (zen-cart is hard to maintain!) and now am re-designing the whole site…maybe it inspired me to work hard on it again.
2. birthday pressure – just had my 30th birthday and birthdays I always put too much pressure on myself to have a big party, blah blah…this year was in Hong Kong, and felt it was too complicated to try to organize anything. But still overworked due to point 1 above (newyorkbarstore redesign) over the weekend….draining on me.
3. too much travel – I love the Chaos, the intensity…its what brought me to China in the first place…but it is just not slowing down…spent the past few days in Hong Kong (arriving Thursday night, though I almost went to Shenzhen first, after Dongguan, and then to Hong Kong after), heading to Dongguan tomorrow afternoon…just feel like a ping pong ball between Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Dongguan, and sometimes in Philippines or Guangzhou….but at least I have mentally decided I will be in Asia the next 5 years at least, so at least my mind is somewhat at ease.
4. IT issues, need IT people – many projects I am working on need programmers and IT people…I am having trouble finding Hong Kong programmers…..and with all my travel above, its really difficult also to manage odesk and other platforms as I’m being more on the sales and marketing / social media side of the world.
5. studying Chinese – I am finally somewhat applying myself to learning Chinese, bought Chinesepod subscription and listening on my mobile phone as I’m traveling…but it makes it hard to write my blog, as Chinese language study time kind of competes with blog writing time – both are during my personal development time.

But on the positive side…..need to look at the good things:

1. Good traction for Fiveislands ecommerce warehouse – getting decent amount of inquiries for people who want to warehouse and sell into China, as well as control their supply chain further to the source. Also at the Xiamen SEO event last week, met some great contacts in Chinese ecommerce….developing nicely.
2. Got solid SEO consulting clients – feel somewhat stable, good relationships and value from the few SEO projects I have going on….and its what I enjoy doing.
3. Social Media is really developing, expanding, having fun – Its what I am passionate about, building a network, connecting people. This Saturday will be another Shenzhen ecommerce meetup, building up a good team of people to organize it. Boot hk coworking has been great to make relationships as well. I always remember smart businessmen telling me its not what you know, its WHO YOU KNOW….so I hope all this time and energy I’m making investing into social media pays off…but anyway, I am confident it will, and enjoy it anyway.

Anyway, its Sunday night…had a rather emotional birthday weekend, transition, server hacked….and maybe I’ll become a better, wiser person…because thats all we can do, live and learn…and try not to repeat those things which don’t make us happy, right?

This newest article in this generation comparison of my parents and myself is David Brook’s op-ed Today’s Experience Economy where is reflects on the current best selling e-book “The Great Stagnation” by Tyler Cowen.

I’ll do my best to re-reflect on this article.

Lets break down and compare INDUSTRIAL ECONOMY vs EXPERIENCE ECONOMY Lets compare….Maybe we are only talking about American economy here, but maybe in a way global.

Industrial economy – our parent’s experienced this…..wars created jobs. Created wealth. We invented cars, invested new products that NEEDED PEOPLE to make them. Work hard, do your job, follow instructions, collect your paycheck, get a job raise, a promotion. Get married, buy a house, get a loan, pay off the debt over time, have kids. Send them to school, use the savings from your job to help them in college.

Experience Economy – not much new products are made, at least not requiring large new manufacturing line like cars and large scale equipment. Stuff was outsourced overseas. Business leaders focused on knowledge and service. We made things that didn’t require PEOPLE behind them….actually most things we invented reduced jobs, not created jobs. Technology makes things faster, easier, more convenient.

Then we hear “the jobless recovery” that the stock market is rebounding, but where are the jobs? Also the whole Wall Street banking schemes, over-leveraged houses….wealth disappearing overnight….realizing money and wealth can be lost overnight. Why work so hard and be a loyal staff when people are hopping jobs so frequently and companies come and go. Retirement savings, whats that, live for now?

Maybe I am exaggerating a bit there at the end, but I don’t think I am so far off….I think our current generation is not just gonna keep our heads down and do busy work. We question more. What was this wikileaks crap? Is the US government really representing Americans the way Americans want to be represented internationally? Do Americans really have the freedom and choice we are promised? Or are we simply tools and lemmings to feed the governments and banks?

I don’t want to get too political, but I really and truly believe, and wonder who the future politicians in America will be.

I love my peers, we are sharp people, flexible people. Funny people. And we are getting older….I’m 30 in a couple months. We will soon be the country leaders….and I think we have our eyes open a bit more then our parent’s did.

We want a quality life, we want to travel, to experience, to be healthy. To have a full life, because we are starting to realize just having the house and the mortgage isn’t enough. We are not pawns for wall street, right.

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Last week the NY times ran an article about a Brooklyn, NY merchant selling eyewear starting using customer’s negative reviews for his benefit on Google (SEO) to rank at the top.

BUSINESS DAY | November 28, 2010
A Bully Finds a Pulpit on the Web
By DAVID SEGAL
Vitaly Borker welcomes customer complaints, saying they vault his business higher in Internet search results.

Being that this is right in my daily life- doing SEO and ecommerce in USA, many of my friends sent it over to me last week.

I was going to blog about it, because it was pretty funny, but had a lot of other things to write about. I sent it over to my contacts at Merchant Solutions, LLC asking them if this was really possible? As they underwrite merchant accounts (what accepts customer’s money via credit cards) they always warn me about chargebacks and fraudulent orders in the ecommerce world. Selling online is still difficult….buyer and seller don’t really know each other, and there is that unknown if:

a) the buyer is legit – maybe its a stolen credit card? Maybe its a buyer who is purposely going to say he/she didn’t get it to get their money back or another free product

b) the seller will not send goods – maybe the merchant will send the wrong goods, a knockoff, send it late. Not send it at all.

Amazing this guy was STUPID enough to do an interview with the New York Times. My friend Erik said it this way:

Take home lesson #1:
Negative comments are just as good as positive comments for ranking.

Take home lesson #2: However, in pursuit of those negative comments, don’t threaten people with violence or commit outright fraud.

Take home lesson #3 (and main lesson):
If you are going to wear the black hat, then keep your mouth shut.

As now Vitaly Borker is arrested for this and his name will be blacklisted from all kinds of financial institutions and it will be hard for him to do business on the internet in USA again…..

All kinds of things like this have been around, tactics to inflate your rankings on google and other search engines, or to get more sales. Selling fake products in China has been another.

But also selling fake products from China has been harder these past couple years. I have heard Chinese sellers complaining google adwords shut down their account. ebay is after them. Now even in the google rankings, Google is taking out websites it finds or has been told by authorities is selling fake products. Taking domain names from domain holders for misspellings or variations of registered US trademarks.

And for some reason, Chinese friends of mine think its because America is upset at China they are now blocking all these counterfeit selling sites and taking these domains. COME ON! Really?!? It was only a matter of time, I always told these guys.

And seems now leaving fake reviews is next on the attention list by search engines and authorities. The system will recognize which pages are saying good things about a store or website, and which are saying bad things. And then there is the overall brand – if you google search a webname, and see all kinds of bad reviews….that may be a 2nd search after a first search:

1) First search – designer eyeglasses. Check out a few of the top ranked organic (non-paid) sites.

2) Second search – check up on the domain names, see what others are saying.

Sure, then you may get your site to rank number 1 for the actual product, but as internet shoppers get smarter (And more idiots like this guy go around saying Google puts his scam site on the top), the more people will research the website before putting in their credit card.

Overall this is good, but reading in search engine land article – The Decor My Eyes Fiasco & Local Reviews Tactics, the main idea being:

What should we make of it all, though, now that Google subsequently stated that they’d adjusted their algorithms to penalize evil merchants like Decor My Eyes? I really wish Google had not made a public statement about the issue at all, because they not only rewarded Decor My Eyes a bit by validating that his stratagem had indeed been working, but now many other unethical businessmen must be imagining that they could post false reviews to damage their competition in the rankings!

NOW – competitors can leave negative reviews on other people’s sites without making purchases (or even if they do make a small purchase) to DESTROY their competitor’s RANKINGS – not only rating on the site.

Sure, the system will be for reviewers who look REAL, have reputation, have score in social media, lots of friends or followers.

But what happens when those PEOPLE use it for profit.

Anyway, this really hits me home, because constantly as an internet marketer and ecommerce seller, I am always tempted and pushed by others to do things to make extra money. Its hard to say no, but the consequences if you are caught makes it easier, and seeing this today is good for all of us to think about.

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While I have not been fortunate enough to know or have met Steve Jobs, I do take interest in how he got to where he was. Reading Steve Job’s bio from wikipedia

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something…almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

But he has credited a lot of his success to the early stage developments in his life, such as his trip to India. He seems to feel this helped him “think outside the box” to see the world, to spawn his creativity.

I just keep hoping and feeling I am somewhat on this track. Maybe never to be as great as Steve Jobs, but I am investing for the long term. Constantly giving up, passing on short term quick hits that may hurt me in the long run…..investing in learning about international business, networking with people all over the world….exploring the internet, social media. spawning my creativity

I can never even imagine going back to the way my life used to be. I was in New York for a couple months (back and forth between other USA cities) and I was tempted to stay there to build a sales office….but then I got this fear I would slowly morph back into what I was before I came to China and Asia.

If you’re going to think, THINK BIG – Donald Trump

And no one can mirror or copy another person’s success. We have to go out and become who we are meant to be. Sure our parents and family may have their wishes for us, our friends, our loved ones…..and we may even envy others around us – WISHING WE WERE THEM.

Come on, we are who we are, and if we so badly want to be like someone else, THEN WE HAVE TO LIVE OUR LIFE THAT WAY.

On twitter my “ny mom” (joke) @deputy saying I’m so lucky to have Christmas on the beach in the Philippines. But is it luck? I mean, I took a chance, I saved money from my dayjob in NYC. Why can’t most people do that? Is it personality? Is it “destiny”?

But back to Steve Jobs, I do feel like looking at his earlier days as a younger professional and entrepreneur gave him the creativity, the courage, the experience, and the appreciation for life to build the company and future he has created today.

But for all of us, we just need to live the life we feel COMFORTABLE in, or for those brave enough, STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, and see where life takes you.

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Daddy, Can I Borrow 75 Pesos?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what is it?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make 150 pesos an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I please borrow 75 pesos?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolity’s.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that 75 pesos and he really didn’t ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. ‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked. ‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy. ‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the 75 pesos you asked for.’ The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. ‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled. ‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have 150 pesos now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that 150 pesos worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours… But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

It is funny, because I am running around like a madman these days, more then ever. Am I a hypocrite? I have been so stressed….yet I blog these things. Well I do it to remind myself, not just you reading it, but MYSELF. This is my journal, and my reminder that when I type it out, I remind myself how I have to think. And its a long process, lifelong, to really PRIORITIZE life but then again, we all say “money isn’t everything” but at the same time we need it to live right? And I don’t want a life working 9-5, dependent on others. I am fighting so hard, hustling so hard, to be independent.

So then I / we say, I’ll work hard now, so I can enjoy life later. Is that right too? Then our children will not have to work, because I / we have worked so hard to build a business, but then the child doesn’t appreciate / realize / experience hard work and is lazy.

Is there a right answer. Anyway, food for thought, and this poem is awesome!

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I say this is another “personality shaping” movie because I believe it left an impression on me.  About life, about how serious we need to take it.  About what is important and what isn’t.  Its hilarious too, I love Bill Murray’s acting and he plays a great role as a sarcastic tv weatherman who is kinda fed up with his current “boring life” and his 4th trip to do a TV report on Groundhog day.

Somehow fate keeps repeating this “HORRIBLE” day for him, forcing him to live it over and over again.  UNTIL HE GETS IT RIGHT – that’s the idea of it.  He hates his life so much at the beginning, after he keeps repeating his day over and over, at first he gets more depressed….learning he can commit suicide, rob people, seduce women, eat anything he wants – he has fun for a bit.

Then he realizes what is the point of doing this?

But then he gets even dark, giving up….playing card games by himself, just living pointlessly.

Then he realizes, why can’t he save others on that day – there are bums dying around him, kids falling out of trees, mayor choking on steak, old women with flat tires.  He also learns the piano, to ice sculpt.  At first its to impress his new, cute producer, Rita…but then actually enjoys it – for HIMSELF.  And when he actually does it for himself, and helps people without expecting anything in return, is when he gets the girl, wins friendship with everyone in town, and gets out of the repetitive daily repeat!  Definitely recommend watching this if you haven’t, and if you have, watch it again!

So why is this personality shaping?  I guess because it teaches me / us to JUST LET GO and live life.  He gives his pocket money to the bum, he saves the kid falling out of the tree, he lights people’s cigarettes, saves a choking major.  BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT, why not?  Isn’t that what life is meant to live for?

Because when we die, what do we take with us?  Its what other people look back and remember us for, and how we lived the life we had.

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May 16, 1997

Today I got this journal along with a book of all the card games invented, and a computer games magazine with all the cool new software games, on 1 CD! The money I borrowed from my sister, which was part of a $25 gift certificate to Waldenbooks, a prize from her science fair project.  I’m a sophomore at Mary Immaculate Academy in New Britain, CT.  There is only 10 more days, then finals.  At this exact moment I am sitting under a stack of tables before I go to sleep.  Its Friday night, about 5 till 1am.  This is the staff training for this year’s JLTC (junior leaders training camp) session of boy scouts.  Everyone is asleep, that sounds like a good idea.  I wonder how old I am when I’m reading this? Probably in my forties, if I’m still alive. I’m not sure how secretive I should be in this journal, cause who knows who’s reading this right now! I plan to go to the military, hopefully a military college, but that is a bit far out.  I got a reply from the Navy in the mail, with a cool Navy Seals patch.  I got a stupid computer virus, the stealth_b!  I’m learning to drive now, and going to Patz Driving School in Newington.  That dumb law where you got to have a permit for 6 months before you get a full license when under 18 is really annoying. I just completed HOBY (Hugh O’Brien Youth Foundation) in February.  That was a lot of fun, but I will never forget what happened in that 4 day experience!  What memories.  I hope I will never forget, well its 1am, and I think lights out are coming, so I’ll catch you later!

Saturday, May 17, 1997

Its 12:40 at night. Hans is gone from camp, sneaking off to see his girl.  That is pretty nuts! I can’t wait till this campout is over, cause I want to play that demo CD.  Tomorrow I leave here at 11am to go for my sister’s confirmation. I can’t wait till school is out. I got to catch up on my sleep!  Life is so weird, but ain’t it so unexpectable, it’s great if you’re lucky!

11:15pm, 5/18/1997 – Sunday

Damn I’m tired. Got back from sister’s confirmation at 8:30. Left the house at 3! Left camp at 11:30, supposed to be 11, but my dad waited in the wrong spot where he’d pick me up.  Set up a tripod this morning, pretty big.  When we took it down it almost crushed me. COOL!! Saw my grandparents, uncle Gary, uncle Steve, and Aunt Nina.  All were at confirmation. Saw Melissa Melluzo there also.  She spoke in front of everyone, that takes guts! Reason we got back so late is cause we went to Chowder Pot IV for dinner.  I drove my Uncle Steve’s escort GT 1988 5 speed from my grandparent’s apartment building to the restaurant! Did real good. Getting a lot better with a standard.  Oh yea, Hans got back last night at about 3am. Didn’t get caught, but didn’t get sleep.  Why does tomorrow have to be Monday….sleeeeeppppppp…….

Haha, maybe it isn’t a good idea to have this all typed out online! Flipping through some pages I am a bit emotional about gossip in school, struggles with school elections, crushes. I was really rather open on my journal entries. But it does remind me the bullshit involved in high school and growing up. The “bubble” and the added pressure for no reason from piers about being the cool, best dressed, top sports player.

I love personality tests, I have talked about the DISC personality test method, and learning about yourself, your strengths AND WEAKNESSES will help you grow as a person.  And never stop learning….I know I am not a detail oriented guy……I know I have focus problems – but I’m a pusher, and I like to think I can motivate people.  My personality tests normally say I am a dominant and influencial (DI from DISC) which means I’m a head strong and a “sales” kinda person.  At first I didn’t believe it- I remember when I took this personality test I thought I was more shy and “nerdy” but as I’ve grown up…I think I realize…yea I am a pushy guy that gets things done and will do almost anything to sell my idea to others in order to get the job done.

But maybe I should take the weekend to go through these 3 full books of my journal.  Its awesome too, because I kept stubs and receipts from memorable events – like my first ticket on the Berlin Turnpike, Dave matthews concert, printed out emails.

The basic premise of the movie is a hard-working couple from NEW YORK CITY take a vacation out to the south pacific for a secluded getaway. Gordon is an investment banker, and he just closes a buyout deal…..that is a bit shaky when he leaves…but he cannot miss the flight. Arriving there, he gets worried the deal falls through and cannot stop talking about work (I guess I’m kinda still the same way now???) They get stranded on a deserted island (even more deserted then they are originally) and he’s still all uptight and paranoid about work, and being stuck in the middle of nowhere (a freaking awesome beautiful island!)

They run into a guy living on the island, BY HIMSELF, for 3 years. They cannot imagine someone living out there alone for so long, without interaction with the outside world. “is he running from something”? Is he ex-con? A vietnam vet with agent orange? There has to be something wrong with him to live by himself on a deserted tropical island in the south pacific.

WHY IS THAT SO CRAZY? I guess I have kinda tested it, going out in rather secluded islands / locations in Thailand, Philippines, even a beach in Hong Kong (thanks to Larry) – and I guess its cool to visit….but to interact with PEOPLE, and the hustle, society, is hard to give up.

Maybe this is another reason I’m coming back to NYC. It is cool to be on the other side of the world, I did it for a few years, and I am definitely gonna make it back. Will I end up living in USA the rest of my life now, only taking some two week trips to Asia? I dont know the answer to that yet. I love international business, international travel. I hope to always experience cultures from around the world, get different life perspectives and points of views.

Anyway, am I going back into the NYC hustle. The stress, the leases, the contracts, the pressure? Hmmm….did I run away before? Was I like Bill in the movie and ran away for 3 years only to come back again? Some may see it that way, but I am coming back bigger, stronger, and more confident then ever. And hey, I can “run away” again, with a lot of contacts and experience to add to it.

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I believe I am not alone when we have these emotional INTERNAL conflicts. We want to give up, we want to say that’s it, maybe I should just walk away and give up. But this is exactly the time WE CANNOT GIVE UP. During this stage, we are weak, we are knocked down, odds may be against us, but this is when if we are able to get up and keep going – we are doing better then a majority of others in this situation.

Giving up is the easy way out. Especially when you hit rock bottom. I have talked about how I write things down, list them, to distress but this is some things I do when I need to motivate myself.

MOTIVATING OURSELVES IS CRITICAL. Because its only us who see ourselves each day. And now that I’m on the road so often, I really have to fight to stay motivated day in and day out:

1. THINK LONG TERM – Maybe we had a bad day today….is the world really gonna end? We get so consumed in the day-to-day we often don’t look big picture. This is why I love taking my walks outside…..I clear my mind, get some air, and THINK. Is your “ship still sailing in the right direction?” We may lose a battle, but we have to think about the war. As long as we have our vision, our goals, we should be able to get ourselves out of those bad days in business. Its worked for me countless times to think BIG PICTURE when daily problems happen. There’s normally a solution. A couple months ago I blogged about thinking long term.
2. JUST KEEP GOING – Like the saying, Ignorance is bliss, I think we all know those business owners who we wonder how stupid they are, how did they get to create a huge company. BECAUSE THEY JUST DID IT, and kept on going. I think sometimes thinking too much, and being too intelligent is a negative in business…..because we convince ourselves that the probability for failure is too high. Relentlessly move forward.
3. THINK OF YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE – What do we want to do when we grow up? What do we want to be remembered as? Are we heading in that direction now – similar to the first point of thinking long term – I also think why am I doing what I am doing, when I get what I want, what will I actually do with it. I know I am too soft when hiring people, that I want everyone to have a chance to realize their potential in life….I really hope one day I can help a steady flow of people growing, learning, and realizing their maximum potential in life. Not just accept the life that you think “the world” has given you – but create your destiny.
4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOSE – This one is global….so many people are afraid to “lose face” (look stupid) to their friends and family, that they won’t put their ass on the line to try to make something of themselves. There is a saying its better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all and I full-heartedly believe that one. We will always have the critics, the trolls, trying to hold us down, to keep us from reaching our goals in life – but we have to realize those people holding us down, are simply trying to hold us down to the level they are on – BECAUSE WE ARE ABOVE THEM already. Go for it, take a chance, we only live life once. And failure, is there really such a thing? So many things in life I have FAILED in, but you know what, I normally learn from it, tweak the angle I’m approaching it from, and enter from a different angle later. Failures help us realize what we really want in life, and what others need.
5. and…. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE – Related to the above of not being afraid to fail – WHAT CAN WE LOSE ANYWAY? Money? Sure, if you have a family or dependents who need your income to live, it’s a bit different, but normally the biggest things we can lose are MONEY and TIME. Which one would you choose to lose? I, personally, would rather lose money then time. We have to learn, we have to fight, we have to battle in the game of life, and we will lose some money, and we will “lose” some time – but we will learn, and we will network, and we will become stronger and more experienced in the future. I think the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can supercharge your life.

I really try to use these points in my mind on those really bad days…..because in business, we have to accept the fact we will be riding an emotional rollercoaster of good days and bad days.

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Its 5am sunday night (monday morning) and i’m hanging out on mike morelos couch….he is sleeping for work tomorrow, and I am on night schedule so I’m keeping on track even during the weekend (WHEN EVERYONE here is sleeping…..)

So he recommended I watch a movie called Up In the Air – which has George Clooney as the main actor. I had no idea about it before, but I gave it a shot as I’m hanging out on my own anyway.

It has struck me on 3 chords –

The idea of the movie is George Clooney is a “consultant” flying from city to city, company to company, professionally firing people from their jobs, in the masses. he explains to the newly fired staff that its not a negative event, but a POSITIVE ONE – as its a new beginning. And that humans are not to settle and get comfortable, but to be SHARKS.

So he barely has an apartment, but he does have a 1 bedroom in Nebraska. He is rarely there, as he spends the majority of his time on the road. He has never been married, or probably not many relationships. He feels family and the traditional “american dream” is overrated, and he prefers to be on the road and time away. Like he is escaping something.

And he is good at what he does – firing people – somewhat cold – but he is good at getting these newly laid off staff members somewhat positive about their lives.

His family forgets who he is, he does go back for his sister’s wedding, but he has a very small involvement in the wedding, as his sister and niece think that he is rarely around and how can he care, really.

Then there is the sad idea about the state of the US economy……how that the American has worked so hard, thinks that they are critical to the company’s operation, only to be tossed away like an un-needed piece of trash. Its sad…because in a way, I am involved with this, being in the Philippines, working in outsourcing and business processing and offshoring….I am directly involved in this revolution.

Lastly……is the idea that LIFE cannot be replaced by a computer. George Clooney is on the road, to talk face to face to those who are being laid off. But his company attempts to save money, but having it done remotely over the computer via video conferencing……….but to deal with such a delicate human emotion – being told you are no longer needed for the company you have worked so hard for, for so many years, is no longer needed…how can that be done by a video conference remotely…

Sadly, it doesn’t work, and one of those fired staff cut off via a online video, commits suicide, and the whole video conferencing firing operation is rolled back….BECAUSE YOU NEED HUMAN FACE TO HUMAN FACE interaction during delicate times…

But man, this struck a cord for for me……the US economy, the lay offs, the outsourcing, the traveling, the video conferencing and computers replacing human interaction…..

What is this world turning into….makes us all wonder….

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