But this year seemed to be the right time for me to go, being an NY / CT hometown guy, two teams NY Giants vs New England Patriots is a perfect match (Go Giants!) and a few of my friends in Shenzhen also waking up, I decided to go (Dave woke me up!) taking a taxi from the apartment bright and early at 7am. The bar was packed! I was also tempted to check out Snake Pit (a local hangout for foreigners also have the superbowl on).

Its a lot of fun to watch sports games in a sports bar, and not many really over here in Shenzhen, China. Also, some of my USA friends I was talking to asked how the heck did we get the superbowl game in China? They have it on Philippines and Thailand TV stations, and the expat bars are able to get it on. The problem though is the TV COMMERCIALS!! They don’t have the American version ads, we get some Thai airlines commercials and other Southeast Asian ads going between football breaks.

We also have some friends who have a slingbox account, so we can even go to the laptop to see the American tv commercials! Just a bit of a lag….slow internet…..but its almost like home.

Here is the info I got off of Shenzhen party Superbowl email blast:

Super Bowl Party…

• Full Buffet Breakfast at 7:00 AM…
• Ham Bacon Eggs Toast Home Fried Potatoes & More
• with Bloody Marys & Mimosas.
• Win up to 5,000 rmb in our 100 Squares Pool.
• Entry fee of 100 Rmb includes Breakfast and 1 Free Drink.
• Great TV Views from everywhere in the Bar.
• Reservations Suggested there are useually 130 or more people attending this event.

about X-TA-SEA Sports Bar and Restaurant

Sports bar with an Excellent Full Menu of Steaks, Chicken, Pork, Sea Food, Sandwiches, Great Burgers, and Much More. Live Rock & Roll Music with “KAKTOOZ” Tuesdays through Saturdays. 5 Six foot wide TV screens, Two regulation pool tables, One Football Table, An English Dart board, Comfortable seating for 140, clean Modern Bathrooms. Pool and Dart tournaments, Monthly Hackers & Wackers Golf tournaments. A computerized music library with over 30,000 songs, and wireless Internet. Open Daily from Noon till the customers go home.

So there was tons of food (breakfast is my favorite meal!) eggs, bacon, don’t get that much here in China. I drank wayyyy too much, I was going to try to just drink coffee and beer…but shots came around. Was so dark in the bar, hard to even tell it was Monday morning….if you looked outside there were Chinese workers going to their offices. No idea what the superbowl was and why there were some crazy foreigners in the bar on a Monday morning (those crazy foreigners….haha)

After all that drinking, eating, and football watching, I did get right to work! Have tons of e-commerce projects in the works, and starting a new project that is going to be pretty hands on, Woxter (will blog soon about it). I so badly wanted to get some rest. Waking up early, drinking heavily on a Monday morning…and then digging out of emails and project plans in the afternoon…

And today was also Chinese Lantern Festival….

What is Chinese Lantern Festival you ask? I am not fully clear either – going to Wikipedia we have:

The Lantern Festival (also known as the Yuanxiao Festival or Shangyuan Festival in China); is a festival celebrated on the fifteenth day of the first month in the luni solar year in the Chinese calendar, the last day of the lunisolar Chinese New Year celebration.

It is not to be confused with the Mid-Autumn Festival. During the Lantern Festival, children go out at night to temples carrying paper lanterns and solve riddles on the lanterns. It officially ends the Chinese New Year celebrations.

In ancient times, the lanterns were fairly simple, for only the emperor and noblemen had large ornate ones; in modern times, lanterns have been embellished with many complex designs. For example, lanterns are now often made in shapes of animals.

So I chowed down on some “rice balls” which everyone has to eat on Chinese Lantern Festival (don’t ask my why, no one else seems to know either). posted to weibo, got some laughs.

Am completely drained….mentally, physically, and culturally. Just thought today was a good day to give some insides on some of the experiences a foreigner in China is faced with. So many cultures, so many holidays to balance, feelings, ideas, thoughts.

Keeps life interesting for sure!

Incoming search terms:

• Lantern Festival

I really miss my family back home, its been the hardest part of relocating to China / Asia. Friends and family…..that is it. If I could just teleport back and forth, then life would be ideal. But onwards I must go, and I’m in the middle of this bridging USA and China ecommerce / global ecommerce. Plus with technology mixed with my dad getting good at checking emails and reading my blog here to stay in touch. My mom, a different story, not into technology and only can get through to her by phone. I do make the occasional phone call back home but sadly, I am calling back to USA less and less these days….as I’m getting deeper and deeper into a pure China business world.

So one day on twitter…again, the power of social media! I am still amazed:

NotesToFriends Notes To Friends
@michelini great blog about an expat helping to connect the USA and China. interesting blogs. Go Michael! blog.michaelmichelini.com
27 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

Which started a conversation, (hey, of course flattery of another is the best way to get attention) and I checked out their service….hey, for only a couple bucks, why not get off my behind and write a real-life letter back home to mom + dad. My mom has actually given up writing me letter to China, as I got about 75% of them (she is old school, and I did keep all those handwritten letters). I quickly went along to type it up on their interface (no, I am not paid to write/link this! I think they are a small company that needs a shoutout.).

Hey mom and dad,

Miss being home with you guys and friends….but am really doing a lot of cool things in China. I am trying to do things that seem to have never been done before. I am teaching Chinese about internet marketing….going to different cities in China every month next year.

I know it was probably hard to see me quit wall street back in 2007…I remember taking the trip down to florida for Christmas and having it on my list to talk to you guys about my wanting to leave. I just wasn’t challenged, and wasn’t happy. I wanted to travel more, do real things….not just work on spreadsheets inside of a machine.

Its been a wild ride since then, so many challenges. While I do get stressed out about it, I am much happier then I was….its something that I can never predict each day and always need to think creatively while under pressure.

Thought it would be cool to send this letter, I hope to meet again in 2012.
Mike

And within just a few days my dad emailed me he got it. For fun, I asked him to go out of his way a bit and scan it for this blog post….but I am thinking to use this more and more….the biggest question I have is, what return address should I put? A USA address?

NotesFromFriends.com seems like a small, friendly startup, and I am happy with their service and hope maybe this post can help them out a bit as well. It must be cool for them to also deliver these nice letters to friends and family around the world. It made my day, and my parents too I imagine. rock on!

Incoming search terms:

• about me my personal blog international business - org - edu - info - gov - ca -news -magazine
• letter what it means to me to have my mom and my dad in my life

I have been celebrating Christmas in China for the past 4 years now (almost 5), well, technically last year I crossed over to spend Christmas in Hong Kong…as I almost was here in Christmas 2007, but Spent it with my family in Florida – I have kept up with at least a quick post each Christmas the past few years, some others:

http://blog.michaelmichelini.com/2009/12/2nd-christmas-in-china.html

http://blog.michaelmichelini.com/2008/12/merry-christmas-from-china.html

But yea, in China, Christmas isn’t recognized as a holiday, but each year, shops and city governments decorate more for it (they say sales go up in the shops that have Christmas decoration). The Chinese people respect foreigners here and they always check up on me in what I am doing. In 2009, I actually worked on Christmas day…but this year, it was a Sunday and I am getting better at relaxing a bit more.

So for the most part, foreigners here find a bar or restaurant that has some sort of Christmas dinner special, this year I hung out at my buddy Marshall’s bar, Jordans – below is the info:

Cheers & Jordans to host Christmas Buffet Lunch together on Dec. 24th

For those Shenzheners who are planning to be in town for Christmas, Cheers and Jordans bar in Shekou (rose Garden II) invite you to bring your family and enjoy a delicious Christmast lunch.

We will be serving buffet style on Dec. 24 at noon the following:

- Turkey
- Ham
- Stuffing w/Gravy
- Cranberry Sauce
- Mashed Potato
- Caesar Salad
- Broccoli
- Fresh Fruit
- and for dessert… warm Apple Pie!

Everything will be homemade and delicious and we hope to see you there!

Cost: Adults 150rmb and kids under 8 are 50rmb

Its all about spending good times with good people, maybe I am a bit bummed out seeing friends leaving China….but I still have quality friends and connections here.

I also just like to have a day of rest and emails slowing down from bombarding my inbox! Cheers!

I met Zee on twitter maybe a year or so ago, and we chatted about my being in China, and her being a Chinese now living in America. Its funny how many people I meet who “trade places” – Americans moving to China, and Chinese moving to America. Maybe its that saying “people always want what they aren’t” – the quest for “exoticness” or uniqueness in their life.

Well, Zee and I tried to meet in Guangzhou last year, that didn’t end up working – but this time she reminded me to reach out to her when I arrived in San Francisco. We had a lunch meeting in SFO international airport, social media and current mobile technology makes coordinating meetings so much easier than even just a couple years ago.

Zee is really amazed my transition to China, she moved to USA to get her Masters, and was able to stay after graduating. We had a nice lunch and then she gave me her book she just had self-published – its a fiction and I just finished reading it.

She even autographed it:

For Michael::
Living and working in a foreign country is a privilege few get to enjoy.
Thank you for your friendship!
Zee

It was a great read, a much needed break from my dry “business books” and “constant business thinking” I needed to have some time exploring a new world with gnomes and soldiers, dark lords, queens and princesses and spider caverns, gas city torture chambers. I also felt the China influence in the book, talking about the balance of white and black powers (resembling ying and yang), governments censoring and controlling propoganda, and the idea of different cultures trying to live in one world together peacefully.

What really excites me is Zee is successful self published author. I know another friend of mine, Rosemary, who wrote the book 42 rules of sourcing. Zee has also been in the internet world since 1995, buying domains and doing online business. I really do have a goal to write at least one book in my lifetime, I am blogging almost daily building it up and getting into the habit.

Social media continues to blow my mind, connecting with amazing people all over the world, finding people with similar goals…I’m so happy to have met Zee, its so awesome to read a book having met the author!

Incoming search terms:

• dad i miss you poems from daughter
• family and friends blog
• poems for daddy from daughter

But I have “survived” 4 years now in China (Asia – Philippines) ….and last year I was reflecting on what to do, where to go, thinking I would live in New York ….but deciding to take the Hong Kong return flight afterall last year….

I see my calling is in China….….bridging Chinese into USA market…and bringing Americans into China…

In the main photo of this blog, you can see me and my mom and dad wearing Geekcook shirts….which is a project I am helping my friend in China enter the USA market…

I explained to my parents this great task of bridging Chinese to USA, and Americans into China….it was funny, my dad is always talking to everyone, in restaurants, parking lots, golf courses, and he started spreading the word….passing out my business card (he has a stack of them) telling our waiter that “if you want to go to China, talk to my son“.

Walking through shopping malls, talking China, talking different cultures and business mind perspectives…my parents have realized the value I have gained being overseas.

Maybe this will help America they think, and I think. I have many friends and people reading my blog who want to come to China. Bands who want to sing there, internet gurus who want to verify websites there for American investors, tons of people who want to sell there.

China….as so many say, the American Chinese relations are the future for the next 100 years….we are bound between debt and currency agreements.

For the first time EVER, I heard my parents discuss maybe visiting with my sister! I won’t get too excited yet, still a lot of planning, but this is awesome.

I have to bring people to China, I have to explain to Americans and Chinese the differences between these cultures, knowledge is power and it seems both sides greatly misunderstand each other….

Stay tuned…but I am in talks with a few extremely qualified Americans who want to come to China and learn….grow….experience….

The bridge is now.

The main reason I flew back to America was for this wedding, the last of the “crew” in my college ring of circles…Julian got hitched! A really lucky find, I met his girlfriend (at the time), Tanya, this time last year at Tayan’s Indian wedding.

I flew into LA first to spend a couple days with my business matters in the ecommerce warehouse, taking a red-eye (overnight flight) from Los angles to Newark, NJ on Friday night, to arrive 630am on Saturday morning, the day of the wedding. My business dinner w/ Lisa and her husband in LA (mexican is my favorite) was a bit longer than it should have been…causing me to rush to the airport, the gate checkin had already closed, and with 30 minutes to spare, they called the gate and allowed me to check in…rushing through security, asking people in the line for me to go to the front, realizing i needed to get a boarding pass before security, rushing back to the checkin counter, going back to security…i made it for the 10:30pm Friday night departure from LAX to EWR. My bad luck and lateness forced me to sit middle seat in an unreclining seat next to a snoring older man and a sleepy woman who blocked the aisle exit for me …The airplanes headset / music system wasn’t working, so I luckily was using headphones as ear buds to get a couple hours sleep on the plane.

My 2 good friends, Giuseppe and Tayan, picked me up at the airport, Tayan had driven up from Maryland with his wife Shanti (the couple that got married last year ) …got a NJ style bagel with tons of cream cheese, a couple coffees…we went to Giuseppe’s house , and we all put on our tuxedos for the wedding party. HOW DID I GET MY TUXEDO? I had to fax in a credit card authorization and the measurements (nope, no email…) like it was the 1980s or something…but anyway, I got it done, and Tayan and Giuseppe helped me out and picked it up on my behalf the day before.

We had to arrive at Julian’s house by 12noon, so we left Giuseppe’s house fully dressed around 11:15am. Julian had bagels and coffee waiting, and we stood hung the house until about 2pm, where we took a limo to Tanya’s (the bride) house nearby. Luckily, being a Russian wedding, there was no shortage of vodka at all these various stations…and its loosened up the wedding party a bit.

Photos at Tanya’s house, we left around 4pm to take about a 1 hour drive to the country club where the wedding would take place….running a bit late getting phone calls as we drove up. But it was a HUGE wedding party

10 groomsmen
8 bridesmaids

All in the limo….so it was an interesting ride up, drinking and chatting with various friends and family members from both sides of the family.

Arriving at this luxurious country club bordering NY state and north NJ, the guys waited in the “powder room” (is that what you call it?) and had snacks and drinks while the wedding planning was going on.

About 6pm we started taking wedding photos outside, a beautiful scenery with a water fountain and a huge pool …I am sure those photos will be treasured for years to come.

We then practiced the wedding ceremony, coming down the aisle, pairing up with our respective bridesmaids, and then by 7pm we rushed to the main lobby to greet guests.

I was wondering why it was a night wedding, and from what my Jewish friends told me, because its taking place on the Sabbath (Saturday is the Sabbath in Jewish culture) that they cannot work on this day, and a wedding is considered to be working…so we have to wait until nightfall until the ceremony can start.

After the greeting time in the country club lobby, all moved into the main reception hall where there was an extravagant buffet / cocktail hour for 1 hour. Sushi, prime rib, various tables with food from all different parts of the world…simply amazing.

8pm the wedding ceremony was to begin…and the wedding party got setup to enter the outdoor wedding placement.

Believe there were about 200 guests from both families, and photos and cameramen everywhere. This has been my third Jewish wedding (attended my friend Jerry’s in NYC a couple years back, and my buddy Greg’s wedding in Chicago) , so I was a bit prepared for the various cultural motions.

My favorite is the end, when the groom steps on and breaks the glass, saying Mosltoff, and kissing the bride and the wedding is over. Also carrying them up in the chair on the dancefloor is awesome! I also noticed in this wedding when the bride entered, Tanya, her mother, and Julian’s mother circled Julian (the groom) with Tanya making eye contact each time she circled in front of him. Also noticed the Jewish contract that promises the binding contract of marriage between the couple. They did a good job of keeping traditions strong.

After the wedding ceremony we exited the room and were welcomed into the dining room being announced in by the band and MC…again, like a movie. The huge wedding party then made the “bridge” for Tanya and Julian to pass under as they entered the wedding reception hall.

Dinner started about 11pm, but people were so excited that they wanted to dance instead! It was amazing.

I just love witnessing all these different cultures, and weddings are a big time to show them off. Last year I also attended a Filipino / Chinese wedding in NY, Indian wedding….Jewish weddings, shows life is beautiful….

one of the main reasons I came back to usa was for my friends wedding…being away from America so long is changing me so much…….seeing my friends….realizing how different everything is.

But still, my dad is one of my top readers here….and I love him more then ever because of it. You know when you’re a kid, you have this weird feeling to your parents, not wanting to tell them too much, hiding things, feeling they are being too nosy about your life. I sometimes post his motivational emails. But for the most part now, they know all my crazy problems….well they do get all the mail in USA….my bill collections, letters from lawyers…so its not so easy to hide stuff either!

But another way my dad and mom motivate me is these scanner articles, motivational poems and horoscopes (and another horoscope I don’t blog all of these horoscopes and articles on this blog (or it would be jam packed! But occassionally it inspires me and gives me motivation to blog it.

Recently I got one of those (typed it out here:)

this paints your picture exactly
glad to be able to read your blog.
mom said hi hope you had great sunday
love jim

 

Your greatest gift is a strong spirit.  Never give up. When the chips are down you can always hang in there, give 110 percent and do the right things needed to survive and thrive. The stress of the past year or so will begin to ease soon.  You will see life and finances gradually easing by the fall.  Keep on keeping on.

HUSTLE is how I interpret this. Just can’t give up. I know its this internal battle inside of myself in order to prove to myself and the world that I can achieve success. well, what is success. But anyway, the struggle, the fight….and the hard work ethic I learned from my father.

Hope this motivates my friends this Sunday afternoon.

And like my friend Paul Chong tells me, I gotta be the man in the arena!

But it did come at a rough time, as I outlined the world felt like it came crashing down as I’ve been overextending myself with the startup and coworking community building in Shenzhen, Marie having an early baby delivery, and so many other changes in warehouses in USA and China…..staff moves….Maybe I should have told Ish I couldn’t make it anymore, but I forced myself to make it work and spend some time with my old college friend and fraternity brother (Delta Tau Delta!!)

So here is the main point of this blog….The amazing thing is that he is SELLING REAL ESTATE TO ASIANS LIKE CRAZY. Really top notch high end New York, New Jersey prime real estate. So his firm hired a marketing and investment agency that specializes in helping foreigner real estate companies sell in China and Asia. He was in Hong Kong for the weekend to exhibit his building, 77 Hudson, to investors and potential buyers.

And its cheaper than Hong Kong, by far! And Chinese are buying up USA real estate because they believe its so low, it has nowhere to go but up!

I was talking to a real estate consultant there, Paul, and he mentioned to me that Chinese also want to get their money out of China….that they make quick money through government connections, and then need to get the money out of the Chinese circulation. He gave me a horrible story about a home builder and developer in southern China that was making multi millions developing land and buildings in a certain city…but when the government changed, he lost everything…..

So Chinese also trust American real estate as a safer investment that has little or no political risk, and they never invest in just cash, Chinese like to buy hard assets and real estate fits the bill.

They can even finance the Asian buyers with Hong Kong mortgages for these USA real estate investments….truly amazing. And the place was buzzing with buyers, sitting down at various bargaining tables discussing the 2 bedroom suite with a home office, or just get the 3 bedroom suite.

It really is true, America will be owned by Asians soon enough, both in debt and literally in the real estate assets.

It was great to see Ish, learn about all of this real estate selling spree in Asia…and realize again that I made the right move coming to China and Asia back in 2007.

Marie came back to Shenzhen to get married with her German boyfriend and build a family together. She loves working from home (or anywhere) and has been awesome to work with my crazy life and business persona!

So this blog, my business, my life is getting so personal. I could resist and fight to draw a line between personal life and business life – BUT I AM EMBRACING IT so may as well be totally open on this crazy experience rushing Marie to the hospital last week for her early baby delivery. She has been working a bit while she’s pregnant, on her own time, and we were meeting up in Shenzhen team coworking space last Wednesday when all of a sudden HER WATER BROKE!. there were a couple others in the coworking office, and I’m thinking – “Am I gonna have to deliver a baby in this coworking space?!? Now that is something to blog about and promote this space!” HAHA.

But then we rushed downstairs to take a taxi to the Nanshan General hospital ….all I can think is I’m going to witness a childbirth in the backseat of this taxi! I’m the boss, not the father! hahah!

We made it to the hospital….and I am the better Chinese speaker of the 2 (and boy, do i suck at Chinese…) so we call her assistant to translate over the phone….got her on a hospital bed…..getting stared at by all the Chinese….this couple (they all must have thought I was the father!) in a Chinese hospital, delivering a baby, and can’t even speak Chinese! Total chaos…we must have been a big topic at their family dinner tables that night!

Marie’s husband, Daniel, was stuck in a taxi in traffic, and their assistant was on a bus….we were transferring rooms, beds, going on elevators. In China, they want money first…and gave me a bill. I’m like “no, no…I’m not the father”. But again in China, you gotta pay before they do anything. Marie kept telling me not to worry about it. Then I was in a room with sleeping pregnant women and I was asked to leave. Seriously, out of control! I’m standing in the waiting area, stared at by all the Chinese…no one can speak any English. Luckily they take her ID (her passport is processing at the visa office…. bad timing!) and they transferred Marie to the other (new) hospital building….more elevators and transfers and bumpy roads…..

I had been carrying her bags and mobile phone, texting to her husband and assistant as we moved along….for some reason my mobile internet wasn’t working (couldn’t checkin on foursquare!) not sure if it was blocked inside the hospital zone for some reason)…and I was going crazy!

Finally Daniel arrived, paid the bill downstairs (took forever as he had to go through a few departments and cash registers and paper receipts and invoices, etc) but then he came back. It was a month early delivery….and the Chinese doctors said it was too early. I thought she would be returning home, so I left to go back to the office.

But I didn’t realize she was going to stay in the hospital and have it delivered. Friday, August 26, 2011 her baby boy, Carlos was born into this world (while I was in Hong Kong / Macau – save that story for another blog)….

Amazing….life still blows my mind……so happy

This is now the 2nd baby delivery I’ve been somewhat involved with, with the recent Hong Kong baby delivery for Leon. Again, life and business always seem to collide, and I may as well share my crazy experiences with ya’ll on this blog.

Incoming search terms:

• michelini szteam

I’ve been learning about the process alongside him the past few months here in Hong Kong, and I thought it would be interesting to blog about the process in Hong Kong.

Which hospital?

Seems this St Theresa is a great one, at least for foreigners. It has a catholic feeling, a bit strange for me in Hong Kong / Asia. There are statues of Jesus on the cross, the Virgin Mark and all kinds of other signs of Catholicism and Christianity. I haven’t seen that much since I was back in USA.

There are also options for circumcision from doctors, and other options maybe one wouldn’t think is possible in Asia.

Another thing people keep highlighting is so many mainlanders (mainland Chinese) rushing into Hong Kong to have babies. But while I was there, it was not at all as busy as I was made to believe. In the photos in the below gallery, there were many empty hospital beds.

I had heard other friend’s of mine who come to

Why are there so many mainland Chinese having babies in Hong Kong?

This is due to the interest to get a Hong Kong passport, and ability to travel internationally, as well as free education in Hong Kong for babies born there. Plus, with a Hong Kong passport, the child can easily travel into Mainland China without much hassle at all. So for the most part, I’m under the impression that if at all possible, Mainland Chinese parents should try to have their child in Hong Kong to get the most flexibility in rights.

Cost of Having a Baby in Hong Kong

cost ranged between 30,000 hong kong dollars (approx 4,000 us dollars) to 150,000 hkd (19,000 usd). A lot of that price range depends if you want a shared room, private room, special care, etc. Again, this is without health insurance, I’m not sure how its calculated with health coverage.

Again, witnessing this newborn baby process as a friend has also made me think of friend’s weddings, babies happening all around me as the cycle of life continues. Leon has been working so hard to make money for his quickly expanding family. A similar post I wrote last year was my friend Mike Andrew’s newborn baby while managing his family business and the changes in his thought process and life outlook. My trip to USA late last year I also attended one of my best friend’s Tayan’s Indian wedding that was exciting. This year my friend Julian is getting married and I’m in the wedding party. I also have indirect pressure from Nana for a baby.

Just keep thinking back to how today’s world, today’s generation in my age group are going through odyssey and life for our parents and grandparents will not be the same as our generation. Whether we want it or not, its not possible…..technology, communication tools,international business…..all changing so quickly.

I wish all the best for Leon, his family, and newborn baby Emma K!

Comment left by my friend in Facebook, good to note

May Zhu: hey mike, it must be very interest to be a witness of having a baby, one thing you said why mainland chinese people want to having babies in hongkong, the important reason you didn’t mention it’s because our country have birth control,so if delivery in hongkong,then we can have one more baby. i think this is the main reason.

May Zhu: by the way, today i also went to checked my baby in KL Malaysia, the hosipital is totally diffirent with china,make me feel i’m not in hosipital but in hotel. Maybe because it’s a private hospital and i choose the special care, so everything looks fine. After one more month, my boy will coming out to say hi to uncle mike….. lol….

Incoming search terms:

• BABY PREGNANCY
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• hong kong chinese baby
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• Baby Getting Circumcision
• leaving hospital with newborn

But I enjoy to blog, so who cares what others may think.

Maybe its the weather changing, but I have been “perma-sick” for the past two weeks, congestion, headaches, body aches, cough. I finally took a day off this Saturday and SLEPT!….much needed day of doing nothing.

While waking up and falling back asleep…..I had so many wild dreams….mostly thinking back to different times in my life…..business deals, relationships, family. Maybe some situations I wish I could change, go back and change….at least thats how it seemed in my dream. I had these chances in my dream, these intersections of my life where I could do more, say more, do less, say less.

There is the saying, dance like nobody is watching, and I applied that to my blog today, “blog like nobody is watching”.

What a week last week was, let me hit on a few points:

Marriage – So much pressure for women to get married before they are “too old”. Both directly in my life, and in my friends’ lives…this is a daily topic. At the age of 30, I also get that pier pressure to do what everyone else is doing and settle down, get a family. But to do it for the sake of doing it is crazy. I want to be 100% convinced I have found the right person, and am confident in my current life position its the bes thing to do.

Divorce – The opposite of the above, but I have been talking to friends who are going through divorce…that has to be extremely painful for anyone…wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I also feel in today’s society, its getting more acceptable to give up more easily in a marriage…whereas in the past, social pressure frowned on divorce thus it was much less. Then in the past, did people simply stay together because friends/family/society didn’t like it? Did people live for themselves, or for others?

Pregnancy – Been a bit sad learning in Philippines unexpected pregnancy can affect a woman’s life so drastically. And in China its so common for birth control and abortion. Just such extremes. But I feel an unexpected child birth is why there is more poverty in Philippines and other lower income, less fortunate countries. Not saying what is right or wrong about “after morning pills” and abortions….but when a women gets pregnant at a young age, or an unexpected time in her life…it really has harsh reality outcomes. Yes, I know, this is life….

Child birth – Once the baby is born, the woman (or hopefully happy couple) will have to take care of this newborn baby. Food, clothing, school. Hopefully the child will grow up with equal opportunities to live the life they always wanted.

Unemployment – People feeling rejected from their jobs. Not sure what they are meant to do with their lives. Are they not good enough to add value to the company they used to work for? Which company or industry do they best fit in? Whats the point of work? These are just the random thoughts flying through someone who is unemployed and cannot find the right job. Hearing this over and over.

Working in jobs we don’t like because we don’t have a choice – Then so many people get stuck into jobs they don’t like. Maybe they have to pay the bills. They don’t have the schooling or education for their dream job. Maybe they don’t have confidence to quit and take a chance in their life. I think that is the most common reason, so many people are afraid to quit their job, to try something new.

I am glad I got so much must needed rest today. Didn’t check into any places on foursquare (ie, didn’t leave my apartment in Hong Kong), ate some various dried foods in my place, didn’t check email (too much) and instead…

slept and thought

Wish I could do this more often. It is mind expanding.

I wish I talked to my father more, but I did give him a call last night to catch up. Just the idea he supports me unconditionally has helped. To be honest, I almost credit this blog…he reads it regularly. In the past, I had this internal pressure to do what would make my dad and my family proud of me. But lately I feel they will support me for what I want to do. Below he followed up with this email:

you will make the right choice
there is full moon so go slow
i have your back we will make it .
life is a good experience we end up
stronger every day that goes by
we are a strong unit that only goes up
thank you for the journey of life
we will always be as one
love jim

And he attached the photo that I put in today’s blog post. Its him on the golf course down in Florida, happy, enjoying life, seems fulfilled.

Now, I can live my life the way I think is best, knowing that my family supports me. It makes life much easier, like a weight it off my shoulders.

And my family believe in this full moon theory. When I was a little kid, I used to get wired up (like a werewolf) and run around the house until I got tired to go to sleep. They used to say it was the full moon, makes our minds crazy.

I am ready to make some big moves and changes….further developing my life and my career…..my dad doesn’t know too much about my business life, but he does warn me I should take my time, maybe wait till the full moon is over.

I’ve already made some strong decisions the past couple weeks, to FOCUS.

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I guess I gradually got used to be away from home, sleepover weekends with my grade school friends, boy scout summer camps, Italy culture trip in high school, going away for college, working in New York.

But those still allowed me to spend the holidays with mom and dad. Put up with some traffic and holiday scrambling to get home for some good cooking and sharing stories.

Now it seems I get home once a year, if not more.

I get used to it, more and more. Keep my family and friends in my mind when times get hard.  Pushing myself for them.

And grandma, Nana, I miss those weekend trips to your house, spending sometimes even a week during the summer there.  Picking rasberries, playing badminton, watching baseball with Granddad, Papa.

One of my favorite memories with my mom was getting ready to go to school in the morning. It was like preparing for “battle” or something. We would wave goodbye to dad from the window as he backed out of the driveway, my sister and I would finish packing our bags, and by 8 or 8:15am we had to be out the door to walk to school.

And we would run around the house certain days, and we would sing

GO, go, go-go-go-go.
Fight, fight, fight-fight-fight-fight
Win, win, win-win-win-win
GO – FIGHT – WIN

Other awesome memories were summer school at home (I know, right?). I don’t know how we pulled it off, but mom and dad arranged one of our church members, Janet, who was a teacher at a really fancy, rich school, to come certain days in the summer to our home and do “schooltime”. It was only a couple hours a day, two or three times a week (if that?) but I remember how much my sister and I loved to have school there. It was because it was more interactive, more fun…..learning was fun I remember. Discovering.

And then another great memory was also during our summer vacation, matinee movie time. Matinee movie is the first movie when the movie theater opens, and its at a deep discount because its like 12 or 1pm in the afternoon, so not a popular time. We would get a few of these per month (maybe) and mom, Jocelyn (sister) and I would hop into the VW Rabbit (yes, its a car!) and drive to the local theater. Driving in the summer heat, parking in the parking lot walking up to the 12 screen cinema that upn entrance was freezing cold, smelling like popcorn and candy. The other kids running around screaming waiting for the staff to open the velvet rope so we can get seated. And it was actually not during, but after the movie that was great too. Normally we’d drive to McDonalds, and on the drive, mom would make us reflect on the movie. To discuss our favorite part, answer questions about what the movie really meant. I think that critical thinking after the movie was always helpful….get our minds thinking about the meaning of the movie.

Oh, and McDonalds….yes, I know its not healthy, and its marketing this fatty food to kids. But the happy meals, the playground, the other kids in the restaurant. The TOY inside the happy meal.

Life was really good. I miss those times mom. I love you.

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Interesting way for me to spend my Easter holiday!

For those curious, as far as how these countries celebrate Easter: In Hong Kong, they do have both Friday and Monday off, while in America, there isn’t any official weekday off, simply celebrated on Sunday. In Mainland China, its not recognized at all, and its business as usual.

But in Hong Kong, I see no signs of the Easter bunny, but while walking around this Saturday afternoon with Leon, I did bump into some sales girls dressed up in bunny suits, so today’s blog photo is rather humorous to me.

Religion has always been strange to me, my father is Baptist and my mother Roman Catholic. I was going to Baptist Church with the family up until I was about 11 or 12 years old….and I remember a fight in the family home about my mom wanting me and my sister to be Catholic and get baptized sooner (in Catholic Christianity, you’re baptized as a child, but Baptists they wait until the teenage years). So I converted from Baptist to Catholic when I was around 12 years old…had a lot of catch up CCD Catholic classes, meetings with the Roman Catholic priest, and was quickly baptized to catch up with the other Catholics in the community.

As I got older, I think during high school years, I attended Church less and less. In college, freshman year I did find a local Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey, but I only went for a few Sunday masses before getting wrapped up in college life.

Moving to China….well it makes it much more difficult. I have ran into some Christian communities in Shenzhen, China, but it seems underground. I am not familiar with how Churches are treated in China, but I cannot imagine the government likes them.

When I spend time in the Philippines, I am surrounded much more by Christianity. The team of workers there now are busy this whole week for Holy traditions, and its been rather hard to work with them. Filipinos definitely are very strict in their Christian beliefs, I think mostly influenced during the time it was rules by the Spaniards.

Life in Asia…again, during each holiday it make me miss my family and my home. I remember taking a trip to my grandparent’s house after Easter Sunday mass and having easter baskets waiting. The hollow chocolate bunnies, the cadburry eggs, and those marshmallow sticky bunnies. But even being back in America, life is different now then it was when I was a child anyway.

Happy Easter to all, I hope the Easter Bunny left a nice big basket of treats for you. haha.

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The last few phone calls my mom has been a bit more emotional, and I don’t think much has changed except that my birthday has just passed, and maybe she sees my commitment to staying in Asia for the foreseeable future. Life can be hard, decisions are hard to make. Maybe these realizations are setting in….maybe this is an after effect of my open blogging and thinking outloud over the internet. But then again, my mom gets to connect with me better than if I were to have hour long phone calls daily I think, blogging is valuable.

Here is the email from my dad:

you found this for your mom
she found it and it makes her cry
jim

My dad’s emails are always short like this, and sadly I am not always clear exactly.

In the email my dad attached 2 poems – one of these Robert Frost’s poems – The Road Less Traveled i’ve already blogged about, I really do think of that poem as often as I can….to give me motivation and passion to keep going “against the grain” and realizing what I may be doing are things others are not familiar with, and as much as they may want or mean to help advise me, they are simply not aware of my situation. Its a lonely road. But the second poem I cannot find in my blog history, so I will just talk about the poem:

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village through;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost is one of my favorite poets, he connects to me in the idea of the beauty in the struggle of life, in the hard decisions we need to make, and motivating me to keep it up.

I can only hope my mom cries because the mission I am on makes her proud. I do miss her too….but I think I am on a mission with a purpose.

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