More Friends Weddings and Newborn Babies

Posted by Michael Michelini on Nov 18 2010

One friend proposing last week. Another announcing a baby coming soon. Good friend in Shenzhen just having his second son. A couple getting married in China. Life keeps on moving forward. Now I understand the perspective of people my age…..this pressure people would tell me when I was a young boy about other friends and piers getting married and having kids, and your pressure to do the same. As well as from parents, grandma, family. But who wants to rush into something and not be happy. Sadly, I know some friends my age that are already married and divorced…. So I prefer to have a later marriage and be happy then to rush something due to pressure or cultural norm, right?

I had to put the picture from one of my favorite TV sitcoms growing up in the 80s – Married with Children!!! Awesome show!

I am truly happy for everyone who is getting married and having kids. Maybe that is another variable in my original decision to remain in America last month…would cross cultural marriage work? Sure I see many doing it now, and as the world develops and “flattens” more and more, it will be easier to do, travel is faster, cultures are more open, and no one else but you and your spouse can make it happen.

But for me, I think most of my friends also know, I have at least a few more years in me of the single life. The traveling, the adventure, the startup mode. Many times we are told to choose business or family. I hope that when I am ready and positioned to be blessed with having my own family, I will have my business in a state that it can be managed and operated independently of myself.

And my friends always tell me you cannot time it, and love and family happen when you least expect it.

Others also say the right “life partner” can help you in your business and professional life by supporting you. I can’t really say I believe that, thinking back to high school.

In high school, many of my friends had girlfriends / boyfriends that wanted them to stay in their hometown instead of going away for university. And there are the long distance relationships when you are a freshman in college…..having the evening phone calls daily with your hometown sweetie. How can this help your college and professional career? Maybe this daily call will help you reflect on your day, be a sounding board for problems you are having at school….and moral support for you to achieve your goals. Maybe this blog is replacing (or trying to replace) that sounding board. I always kept a journal, and this “reflectionary” thought process of recording your thoughts, dreams, and travels has helped me grow as a persn.

Then there is the argument that a family man is good for a business….as it shows stability and commitment. I know in China this is true….if I were to “settle down” and get married and have a family here, the community may trust me more and be more open / willing to do business with me. This is because seeing the investment in the family, the local community, the concerns about education, environment for the wife and kids the client or supplier has better confidence this businessman will not just pick up and leave.

Thinking about politics, and watching some TV in the background here….there is that traditional politician speaking with his wife or her husband by their side. And many political campaigns show their family, children, wife, in the community. To show their understanding of people. To say, “hey, I am just like you guys, and I have the same concerns for the community”. This is all good marketing. Target market. Understanding your target voters.

But family normally equates to stability. And that is not something I am ready for that the moment, still have a long ways of business development to go.

But hey, maybe I’ll take this back next month and make some crazy announcement, because this is what life is, unpredictable.

http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift thats why they call it the present

Try telling myself that daily
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

Haha, I like that!!! The world keeps manipulating us until we find the path that is most sensible

But we still have to find a more compatible person, rather then settling because of age or cultural pressure
Susanita

Right, but crazy things always happen in life. Everyday is a miracle whatever will be will be, this life is still awesome.
Susanita

I agree with most of what you’ve mentioned. =]

“Life partner” — it really depends on if he/ she is really the one that fits. People are self-centred in nature, even when one’s got married. It takes time and mutual compliance in order to work out for a LIFETIME.

What I think is that: what the majority of people are doing arent always the way we have to follow. That always isnt the best way, in fact. The world just keep manipulating us to the path where most think is “sensible”.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734147564 Emily Tsang

Hah, the world keeps spinning our heads around. It’s the fact. But it is not necessarily the case.

Right, find a “more” compatible person, though there never be a perfect fit. I am for that statement and actually open to every possibility while the “openness”
does have its ideological-based roots.

-Susanita

P.S. I enjoy reading your blogs. =]
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734147564 Emily Tsang

Like! I give thanks to the creator once I’ve opened my eyes every morning…smile a little smile for myself in the mirror. That’s what I keep up doing, for I am the master, the body, emotion and all that are just servants. =]
Jane

Married with children is one of my favorite american comedy. And Mike,i promise to you that a chinese wife is better than a red hair monster.^^

Old chinese people always said family first and then you can be settle down and have a business.
But now more and more young people choose to fight for career first.

In china,girl after 25,we are hurry to marry as chinese men like young girls. I have to say i feel the pressure when I see most of my friends got marry or had baby.
Lucky you are a MAN…
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

HAHAHAHAAHAHAH Jane that is awesome…a promise a chinese wife won’t become a red-haired monster!! that is sooo awesome!!

So you like that show, Married with Children – when did you watch this? Recently or years ago? I wonder when chinese people started watching English TV ….I really think English TV had a part in changing the minds/ cultures of the younger chinese culture.

I don’t think its only Chinese men who like younger women, it seems all over the world….But don’t you also think it is the chinese parents who push their children to get married before 25? or is it just pushing their daughters to get married?

Its also interesting to see that old culture was family first, then make business……I dont think that was ever true in western / american culture……

it seems harder and harder to mix family and business…..or maybe its just me.

great comment, thanks Jane! hope to see you in Shenzhen
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

yes Emily….I think it was Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple) who says he wakes up every day and looks in the mirror, and says what if this is my last day on this earth…

here is his full Steve Jobs Quote:
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something…almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

glad you like the blogs!!!

compatible, but not perfect fit….so you don’t believe in the 1 person?
http://www.blog.daviddho.com David Ho

Hmmm going to go ahead and file this one away under free association . Dammit Jim find a central voice or direction or point!!! I’m lost in the lines somewhere buddy. Hope this process is helping everything move forward though.
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

just thinking outloud here dude …….helping me brainstorm and find myself

life..
love
work
income
happiness
http://www.beenby.com Tony

Something you must stick to pursure.

Time is going quickly,everyday is important for us,every friends must be cherished,every one you meet is lucky.

Best wishes for you and have you have a good luck in love and work.
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

thanks Tony,
I like that, everyone we meet is lucky.

I do believe a lot of our personality and memories are formed with the people we meet and spend our time with……..

appreciate your well wishes….hopefully i can continue to blog as life progresses
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734147564 Emily Tsang

=D haha I am Emily, aka Susanita. It’s just my spanish name and I didnt sign in via fb before… sorry for confusing you.
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

where are you from? Emily, aka Susanita!?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=734147564 Emily Tsang

haha, sorry Mic! Most people call me Emily. I tend to use “Susanita” a lot back to the days I was learning spanish. Still a few friends call me that. It’s resemblance to my Chinese given name as well.

I am a local Chinese from HK, only sometimes I tend to use different (fixed) names in different discourses. =]
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

yea, that is a benefit for Chinese people – they can pick so many different english names for different reasons – work / life …mood! haha
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About Mike

American internet dude living in China (since '07) helping western companies leverage Chinese social media for business.

Passionate for working with more like-minded internet entrepreneurs. Love international business & connecting, and working on ways to give hard working people global opportunities. (Read More...)