Getting Through Tough Times – Think Long Term

Posted by Michael Michelini on Jun 26 2010

I recently had a QQ chat with a shenzhen friend of mine, I won’t disclose who she was as I am sure she would be upset if I did. But she was really depressed, her boyfriend and her had broken up and she also got declined for a job she had just interviewed with. She made it seem like the world was ending and her life was falling apart.

She asked me what she should do to feel better. And how I get through these tough times. And this is what I normally do:

Take a walk outside – Just gotta get out and get some fresh air. I do this often when I am stressed with work, and have done this in NYC many times as well as in Calfornia living there. It just CLEARS YOUR MIND. The best thing to get through a hard time is to do something that will ease your mind, and ease the stress. I always try my best to realize this time walking is the time when I do not think about work, or life, or anything too serious. Maybe I will brainstorm some new ideas (create), but I try not to dwell on negative things
Write it down – I have blogged in the past about writing down my worries. This just PUTS IT ON PAPER. There, it is written down, its documented. It is SOMETHING. So many times, I think and think and think, over and over and over, the same problems. And it overwhelms my mind. By my writing it down, I can then better forget it, or at least put the ideas at ease. It has become something. It is a tangible good. I can then fix it. I can then brainstorm ways to get out of the situation, or to think of alternatives.
THINK LONG TERM – I, like many, had a lot of extra bullshit drama in high school. I remember stressing all these stupid small problems – mainly ones that others created and brought into my own life. It distracted me so much. Pulled me down. I remember getting so frustrated in school – I wanted to just go there, get my grades, and get to a good university. AND THAT WAS WHEN I REALIZED – think long term. In 5 or 10 years, is this boyfriend/girlfriend relationship problem going to be on my mind? If I am having all these problems with this person, is it worth it, and is it going to be long term? I THINK BIG PICTURE. (which probably gets me in trouble sometimes because of details that I try to skip past) But when it comes down to it, in life, what is there? We make some good friends, learn some fun skills we want to do to get paid for a living, we build a family, then we usually share our knowledge with others for them to benefit.

The girl came back to me a few days later on QQ and thanked me. She got over her boyfriend issues and was well on her way to getting new interviews lined up. But that is what it is all about. PRIORITIZING what is important in our life, going with the flow, and thinking what will be there in 5, 10, 20 years in the future.

But many times people think this is cold hearted. At least in China, it has made me a bit thicker skinned about things…..and some people reply to me when I am not as emotional about certain situations that I have no heart. But its thinking long term, and the way people will think back about it years in the future.

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Lammy

Meditation is all we need ;p

U def hav heart, n a gd one!! X
http://blahniknet.com Andy

I would also suggest having a beer somewhere in there. That always works when you’re thinking of what to do!
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

hey Andy but I still am on medication from my stomach problem last week…..aiyaaaaaaaaa
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

thank you for the lesson, buddah! I mean, Lammy!

yea….well there is the saying – nice guys finish last….think that is true, or?
lammy

n scum bags get the gals haha

its true! gals luv bad guys but now they tend to like geeks more as it seems more secure ;P

id say, i’m always adventurous haha
jane

THINK LONG TERM^^I agree. As time will cure all.
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

time cures all, right Jane – thanks !!!
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

Lammy,

maybe you like geeks, but i still think the majority of girls like the bad guys!
Piotr

that is great advice mike – think long term. thank you!!! glad you are on your way to recovery from your illness. i like taking walks too. and also I take time to think about all the good things in life. think about all the things I do have to thank god for. cause there will always be something bad going on but if we take all the good things for granted we never really appreciate them. good post
lammy

i simply like guyzzzzzzzz ;P
http://www.blog.daviddho.com David Ho

Not a bad list of solution – wanted to add my own 2 cents from experience. As they say different strokes for different folks so maybe a few of your readers will find this list useful as well:

1. Let it out to someone you trust

- vent – preferably to a good friend, family member, or significant other – though in strenuous situations I have occasionally confided in strangers that. I’d advise making sure they are so far out of the situation they couldn’t misuse the information in a way that might negatively it.

Having a good emotional support structure is paramount to everyone’s success. It really helps to just lay it all out, take the load off. I think it’s what I’ve found most effective in reducing the stress right away. All people really want is to be appreciated and acknowledged – any good human being should be able to give you a bit of this when you tell them your troubles. They will also give you some perspective at a time when your own objectivity is being drown out by the intensity of your emotional low.

2. Give yourself a break

Right down the alley of taking a walk – give yourself a little treat, whether that’s indulging in an ice cream or going out to see a movie or what have you give yourself a little break to flush your system with more enjoyable experiences. It will allow you to come back to the problem later with fresh eyeballs and hopefully recharged creative batteries.

3. Thinking Big Picture

Really thought this one was right on par so I wanted to reiterate – when you look at what your dealing with from a long term perspective you can empower yourself with the knowledge of how relatively small your problem USUALLY is – how little it really will do to influence your success – and hopefully allows you to focus on what’s most important.

4. Develop yourself

We’re all on a path to self-realization – figuring out who we are, what we like and love, liking and eventually (hopefully) loving ourselves and finding our absolute confidence in ourselves.

If you believe in yourself and have absolute confidence about who you are, forgiving your mistakes and dealing with your setbacks becomes much easier. You know what you did, why you did it, and you believe it was the best decision/action you could have made/taken with present information. That’s the limit of our power – and that’s all we really should derive our evaluation from. IMHO
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

nice long comment there Dave – thanks brotha!!!!

VENTING on STRANGERS – I have often vented to complete random strangers in bars, planes, and other places……maybe they could google search me later and do somethin to affect my life. but you know what, come on, thats being too paranoid…..

and I guess I don’t really eat when I get stressed, a lot of people do taht too……

cheers
http://blog.michaelmichelini.com mike

Piotr,
thanks and I am glad you like it – it does sometimes come across a bit harsh depending on how you state it to someone…..especially in a human relationship, where you say – well will this problem we have matter in a few years, to either of us?

life is too short to stress the bad stuff…….think LONG term – and thinking long term is actually showing HOW SHORT LIFE IS.

About

American ecommerce guy, I've been living in South China - Shenzhen, Hong Kong, Dongguan (+ a touch of Philippines) since end of 2007.

Successfully selling online since 2004, took it fulltime early 2007. Love international business & connecting, and working on ways to give hard working people global opportunities. (Read More...)