Hard Choices Make Us Stronger

Posted by Michael Michelini on Aug 06 2009

I try not to get my emotions mixed into things…but life is life…and I am who I am…..I guess I genuinely care about the outcomes in life for others like myself……maybe that is why I get myself in difficult situations to begin with……

But right now, I am part of DBR Shenzhen Oy and I have been back from a meeting in Finland to discuss business. I feel like my ideas and strategic direction has not been put in place. But, unfortunately for me, I am not the majority vote, plus I am not the one investing the capital. So I have tried my best to work as hard as I can for the embetterment of the company.

I guess I have a strong personality when I am passionate about something, and I feel lately that I am being held back with office space, hiring / firing, and other decisions in the company. I try to understand all sides of the story, and I have considered that I am not the investor here. I have also considered others have to have a more clear idea and communication of how the operations are run….I really do. But I feel I was put into this group to contribute my experience in China and on the Internet. I do not feel those points were well taken, and my frustration has gone beyond what I can withstand.

So…a Fork in the Road, do I keep sucking it up, maybe not agreeing, and almost giving up my “backbone” and just accepting the current situation….or, do I cause a issue and make my voice heard.

I guess….I choose to speak up, and I am now caught in this tough situation…..to stay or to go….and how to settle the situation, current business, and everyone can live life happily afterwards?

The sad part is, these business colleagues have been or become my friends during these times. But business is business, and I have to speak up or just burst later……

But yes, I may be walking away from something big here……….I really hope it does become big. But right now, for me, I can walk away from money – I am not driven by money…..I left Deutsche Bank at 4.5 years, if I waited 6 more months, I would have been “vested” and I saw the money in the online profile in my HR online account….but I didn’t want that to be a reason I waited to make my move in my life / career.

These tough times makes us stronger, the more difficult conversations we have, the greater we become, and the wiser.

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Piotr

hey mike, sorry this is causing you much stress. I think i can see the things that frustrate you. The things that made USA so strong so fast is not the pace of one man, but the ability of groups to work together towards a goal. That is not always easy. Its tough to wait for others to jump on board when you are several steps in one direction. I have similar issues here at work. I have certain feelings but it takes a lot of energy to try to convince others, and sometimes i get so passionate i look like im defensive. Gotta work with others the whole team must cross finish line at the same time to succeed
http://www.michaelmichelini.com mike

hey Piotr,
Thanks for keeping up with my blog. Yea. you know patience is my weakness, and sometimes I act on my emotions…..but life is short, and I’m not going to wait for others to learn what I need them to learn…..I don’t want to be held back….

So I am working on my own again…..like the days when I was living with you in San Diego… just keep on pushing my friend….no regrets until the day I die
Echo Zhang

Hi Mike, It is really hard to say something for me when i saw this blog. sometimes i thought we have some same personality, no patience, a product of emotion rather than a product of the environment… Is that good? not really, sometimes we need to control our emotion to adjust the enviroment.But if we have the opportunity to choose what we like or want to do. why not choose it? Life is short, the tough situation is temporary and we always get throught it,just like you said it makes us stronger and greater. Anyway, after you make the decision,just do it.
http://www.michaelmichelini.com mike

Hi Echo,

thanks for coming back and reading the blog posts! haha, yes, I do see how we are similar in that we let our emotions get the best of us.

But is also important to realize we are human beings, and we need to follow our feelings….and go with them.

But yes, I made a decision, and I must push forward with that decision.

Wish everyone the best in life.
Brian

When we face difficulty,the most important thing is to find the way to solve the problem.If you tell me you difficulties,maybe I can help you.
Brian

Hi Mike, 20 days ago,it seemed that something made you discouraged.
What about you,after 20 days?
Your feeling is the same before? You have a lot of chinese friends focus on you.Do not worried!
When your points which you mentioned above were not taken,it does not mean your points is bad.Maybe one day they will feel that you are right.
Different people sees things in different ways.So it dosn’t matter.
Hero,let it be!
http://www.michaelmichelini.com mike

Hi Brian,

Yes, it was a tough time for me, and still I am getting through the transition. But yes, uncomfortable decisions make us stronger.

and we live and learn. And if we aren’t learning, then we are already dead.

lets write the book of life
john

it’s very resourceful courage,an Amercan starting a business in china.

About

American ecommerce guy, I've been living in South China - Shenzhen, Hong Kong, Dongguan (+ a touch of Philippines) since end of 2007.

Successfully selling online since 2004, took it fulltime early 2007. Love international business & connecting, and working on ways to give hard working people global opportunities. (Read More...)